


Bildungsromance II: Consequences

by JWMelmoth



Series: Bildungsromance I & II [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, S4 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 14:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5970738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JWMelmoth/pseuds/JWMelmoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part II of Bildungsromance. Set in NY; Kurt and Sebastian have decided to be more than friends – but how will people react to that? And can their fresh relationship survive those reactions? Incorporates canon events up to the 2012 winter hiatus (S4 ep9 ' Swan Song'); AU from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written in December 2012. Originally posted on fanfiction.net without a beta because I didn't know anyone in the fandom back then. I have decided to migrate it here without editing; all mistakes are from my 2012 self.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian set the first rules of their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe: set right after Bildungsromance I, before the epilogue

"Mmm?" Kurt mumbled, raising his head and blinking at the world. It took him a moment to realize where he was. There was a boy looking down on him with an amused smile on his lips and a Kurt-shaped dent in the pillow on his lap. Kurt quickly wiped at the corners of his mouth and gave Sebastian a guilty smile. "Sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night."

He couldn't believe he had actually fallen asleep. After breakfast, they had put on some music to fill the silence between them; somehow Kurt's offer to be more than friends had put the both of them a little at a loss for neutral topics, which started to show uncomfortably after all the croissants were eaten. It was like a switch had been turned on and their minds were trying to catch up. Both intuitively felt it would be weird to skip straight to the kind of nonverbal conversation they had started that night after  _InFlagrante_ , but it also felt strange to just hang out as the friends they had become.

The music helped- soon enough Kurt was telling Sebastian about the times New Directions had covered this or that song (they had really done a lot over the years) or how another song was forever connected to his favorite blue sweater because it had been playing in the store as he bought it. Sebastian even added some anecdotes of his own, though Kurt noticed his memories were either from Dalton or his very early childhood, leaving the years in between out. But at least they were talking again, forgetting to be awkward around each other. He must have dozed off after making himself comfortable on the bed while they compared favorite songs.

"What time is it? I can't believe I'm actually hungry again," Kurt said. "I had  _three_ croissants." 

Sebastian checked the clock on the laptop. "It's five pm," he replied, smiling. "I'm rather hungry myself. If you had slept even longer I might have started nibbling on  _you_ ."

Kurt blushed. Then he realized what that meant. "Five pm? How long was I asleep? Why didn't you wake me?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Long enough to force me to listen through the entire Sound of Music soundtrack," he commented, nodding at Kurt's iPod. "I couldn't reach it with you asleep on top of me. I was  _this_ close to spontaneous self-combustion." He held his fingers close together and showed Kurt. He hadn't answered the second question yet.

"I like The Sound of Music," Kurt mumbled defensively, "and if you hated it so much, you should have woken me up. You can't just let me sleep and then complain I ruined your day off."

"I didn't say that. I only said your taste in music is terrible."

"No it isn't. Just my taste in men," Kurt bit back.

"Agreed," Sebastian replied, nonplussed. Then he reached out and traced Kurt's jawline with a finger. Kurt was about to pull back when he remembered Sebastian was allowed to do that now. He held still instead. "I actually kind of liked watching you," the other boy said. Kurt raised his eyebrows.

"For hours? Creepy much?"

"You like it when Edward Cullen does it to Bella. At least I didn't sneak into your house." Sebastian shrugged.

"That's different. He's watching out for her. Protecting her."

"And I wasn't?"

"From what, dustbunnies and dirty laundry?" Kurt rolled his eyes and nodded at Sebastian's messy room.

"Bad dreams, maybe."

Sebastian's reply caught him off guard. Flashes of Kurt's dream came back to him. He had actually had a  _good_ dream. He had been back at home in Lima, lying on his mother's bed watching her while she was doing her make-up by the dresser. She saw him in the mirror and came over, sitting down next to him. As he slowly fell asleep, she carded her fingers through his hair, singing softly and smelling of love and a safe haven. Kurt blinked. The singing part was obvious- with the Sound of Music playing in the background and his longing for a mother-figure in his life like Maria, it wasn't hard to see why he would dream that. But her touch had felt so real... His hands flew up to his hair and felt several strands that had come undone and lay flat against his forehead. He narrowed his eyes at Sebastian. Boyfriend or not, no one touched his hair uninvitedly.  _No one_ .

"You should have woken me up. It's your day off. You didn't have to spend all afternoon with me sleeping on your bed."

The corners of Sebastian's mouth curled up. "I kinda hoped being your boyfriend would involve spending  _a lot_ of my free time with you on my bed."

Kurt could feel his cheeks redden. Sebastian had always flirted with him (sometimes it seemed as natural to him as breathing) but now the rules of the game had changed and his words were no longer meant to tease him with something he would never have... they were an invitation. Kurt sat up and tried to gather his cool. He had dropped the ball too long to counter with a coy 'oh really?' so he did the next best thing he could think of: he kissed Sebastian on the lips.

Sebastian returned the kiss with enthusiasm. He had had a lot of time to think about Kurt's offer while the other boy slept, and had come to the conclusion that he really wanted this. He had been drawn to Kurt's physique since he first saw him at the Lima Bean and the memory of holding Kurt in his arms under the shower still haunted him on nights when sleep wouldn't come until he did. But apart from that, he actually enjoyed spending time with Kurt. Their talks had something honest about them. He never needed to brag and embellish his stories for Kurt; in fact, when he did, he was usually slammed down with an ice-cold remark about his credibility. Kurt was the only one who knew about his expulsion from the French prestige school and, much to his credit, Kurt had never used that information against him or even alluded to it jokingly. In turn, Sebastian had the feeling not many people knew what was going on behind all of Kurt's walls and defenses, and it made him feel privileged that Kurt had chosen  _him_ to share his feelings with. Information was power, and they were at a voluntary stalemate.

His body was starting to show a lively interest in what was going on between them and Sebastian shifted his weight on the mattress, cupping one hand behind Kurt's head and pushing him down on his back without breaking their kiss. Kurt was pliant and lean in the right places and their bodies slotted together like puzzle pieces. Kurt moaned and shifted underneath him, and Sebastian deepened their kiss. As Kurt moved again, Sebastian released his lips to breathe but kept his body pressed close to him. 

"God, Kurt, you're so-" he started breathlessly, and then saw the look on the other boy's face. He was wide-eyed and pale. Sebastian noticed he had gone rigid beneath him. "What-- why are you...? Are you okay?" Sebastian stammered. What was going on? Hadn't Kurt been kissing him back just now? Didn't he want this? "Is this too much? Or too soon?" he asked, feeling confused.

"No," Kurt said quietly, taking shallow breaths and looking up at Sebastian. "Just... claustrophobic." He shifted again, and it became clear that he wasn't looking for friction. He was trying to get away.

Sebastian blinked, trying to understand. Then he remembered what Kurt had told him about the boy at school who had harassed him. Realization hit him like a brick wall. He had Kurt pinned. "Shit," Sebastian muttered, and quickly untangled their legs, rolling off of him. Kurt visibly relaxed and took a steadying breath. "Kurt, I'm so sorry," he started. "I didn't think-"

"It's okay," Kurt cut him off. "You couldn't have known. I should have warned you. It's just that Blaine never-" He stopped himself and gave Sebastian a guilty look. "I mean, I just never actually told anyone."

Sebastian chewed his lip as he thought about it. Their first official make-out session and he had already messed it up. Unlike  _Blaine._ Kurt's former boyfriend had never made this mistake. Had he instinctively known not to do that to Kurt? Or had it been a coincidence? Maybe the boy had just preferred Kurt to take the lead.

Kurt misinterpreted Sebastian's pensive look and let out a huff of breath. "I ruined it now," he said sadly. Sebastian looked up. Kurt looked about as crestfallen as he felt. Sebastian quickly made up his mind.

"No, you haven't," he replied. "Come here."

Kurt scooted a little closer. Sebastian took his hand and pulled him closer, capturing his lips in a chaste kiss. Kurt kissed him back tentatively. Sebastian smiled. At least Kurt still wanted to kiss him. He brushed his hand down Kurt's side and put it on his hip, encouraging him with gentle pressure to straddle his lap. As Kurt followed his cue, Sebastian reached up and kissed him again, running his hands up and down Kurt's back in what he hoped was a soothing motion. After a while, he carefully opened his lips, inviting Kurt into his mouth. He could feel Kurt relax against him as he focused on the kiss and his touch.

"Better?" Sebastian whispered against Kurt's lips. Kurt had more control now- he could pull away any time or initiate more contact if he wanted.

"Mmm...yes," Kurt replied without opening his eyes. He was regaining color in his cheeks fast.

"I guess I'm one step closer to finding out your favorite position," Sebastian teased, and smirked as Kurt's eyes flew open. The other boy looked at him for a moment and then licked his lips.

"I guess so," he agreed, canting his hips a little to press into the body beneath him. Sebastian narrowed his eyes and met him halfway, grinding up.

"I can work with that," he said huskily.

\--

A while later, Kurt lay slumped against Sebastian's chest, idly tracing the tattoo on his skin with a finger. Their shirts had been discarded somewhere in the midst of it all.

"Sebastian?" he said softly, his voice rising at the end.

"Hmmm?" the other boy replied lazily, his eyes still closed.

"Could you... would it be okay for you if we don't...tell anyone about this yet?" Kurt asked carefully, raising his head to look at his boyfriend.

Sebastian opened his eyes and smirked. "I wasn't about to broadcast that I made Kurt Hummel come in his pants, babe," he said, sounding amused. Kurt wrinkled his nose.

"No, not that. I mean...all of this. You and me."

Sebastian looked into Kurt's eyes. It didn't seem like he was sorry about what happened right now (even if Sebastian may have ruined the other boy's clothes a little). Still, it felt like Kurt's request was a way to save himself the embarrassment if this was just a rebound after all. Like he wanted to wait and see if Sebastian could live up to his expectations before he announced to the world he had fallen for the guy who had almost blinded his ex.  _I guess I deserve that,_ Sebastian thought.  _His friends all hate me._ He licked his lips and nodded. "Understood. No facebook updates and no calling you 'hot stuff' in public."

" _Sebastian_ , I am serious," Kurt said sternly, nudging his shoulder a little.

"Me too," Sebastian replied. "I shall make it my business to flirt with every cute guy I see so no one suspects anything."

Kurt harrumphed. "You already did that anyway."

"Ah, but I might have stopped." Sebastian raised an eyebrow in a silent challenge for Kurt to change his mind about keeping their relationship a secret.

"Right." Kurt shifted on the bed, moving off Sebastian. He felt sweaty and sticky. "Is it okay if I take a shower here?"

"Want me to help?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Not when I actually want to get  _clean_ , Bastian. Maybe next time." He picked up his shirt from the floor and headed towards the small bathroom.

"I'll hold you to that," Sebastian called after him. Then he let himself drop back on the mattress and sighed. It was like he didn't recognize himself at all. Half a year ago, he would have welcomed the chance of getting a regular booty call without the added effort of behaving well in public and holding hands. A secret affair would have been the perfect thing. But now that he had it - now that he had Kurt, the kind of boy he never thought he'd want but who'd turn out to be exactly what he needed- he kind of wished he could tell people about it. His old friends. Kurt's friends. His parents. For someone like Kurt to like him... it said something about him. It meant he wasn't so bad.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel knows something's up, and the NYADA Winter Showcase is coming up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe: Set during 4x09 ('Swan Song'), some dialogue borrowed

As Kurt arrived back at the Bushwick loft, he was immediately accosted by Rachel. She was beaming from ear to ear and looped her arm through his.

"Alright, spill," she said, pulling him towards the couch. "Who is it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Rachel," Kurt replied, though he had a suspicion what this could be about. Rachel rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

"Come on, Kurt! A 24-hour date? You went out last night and didn't come back until now? You _know_ what I am talking about!"

That did surprise Kurt. "I did come home, actually," he corrected her. "I just went out again this morning. For breakfast." He glanced at the window. It was dark outside. "A very long breakfast. More like a brunch....dinner...thing."

Rachel slumped a little. Then she smiled slyly. "With the same guy as yesterday?" she asked, squeezing his arm encouragingly.

Kurt sighed. She wasn't going to let this go unless he gave her _something_. "No. Yesterday's date didn't go so well. I mean, he was nice but we just didn't...spark." He gave Rachel an ominous look. "He can't sing."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Rachel offered, immediately understanding what a downer that must have been.

Kurt shrugged a little. It already seemed like so long ago. Now that he was with Sebastian, it no longer mattered. But he couldn't tell her that. Not yet. If he did, everyone would know, and he needed more time to prepare them for that.

"And what about breakfast-guy? I mean, it was a guy, right?" Rachel asked. "That was kind of spontaneous, wasn't it? You usually tell me when you're going out." Kurt could tell she was trying hard to contain her curiosity and not sound reproachful.

"Yeah, I guess it was. We... had dinner a few times before," Kurt confessed. "After my date, I realized I wanted to see him and I did."

Rachel gasped theatrically. "Dinners? What? When? Why didn't you tell me?" Clearly all effort to keep accusations at bay were now lost. She was his best friend and he had been keeping things from her. Kurt put his hand on hers.

"I didn't tell anyone, Rachel. After Blaine, I just...needed some time to figure out what I wanted. I'm still not sure if this is going to work out. It's all very...new." He smiled a little as he thought about it. It was new, and it wasn't. If he was honest, it had probably been going on for a while now, even if they had only made it official today.

"I _knew_ it," Rachel whispered. "I knew there was something different about you lately."

Kurt gave her a blank look. He had been different?

"In a good way," she added quickly. "More... yourself again. Like you were before-" she hesitated.

"Before I broke up with Blaine?" Kurt offered. Rachel nodded. Kurt sighed. "I'm not sure I'll ever be like I was before that. But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"

Rachel gave him a solemn look. "That's right. You and I, Kurt, we're not going to let this thing drag us down. We're moving forward. Finding our new selves."

Kurt smiled softly. Rachel's words reminded him of the power speeches she used to give to boost the New Directions when they were down in the dumps after another slushy attack or one of Sue Sylvester's many attempts to sabotage them. She smiled back.

"Does he make you happy, Kurt?" she asked.

Kurt grinned and rolled his eyes a little. "He drives me crazy. Half the time I don't know whether to kiss him or to punch him in the face." He snorted. "Yes. He makes me happy. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, it's just... I didn't realize how I felt about him until I tried going out with someone else."

" _So_ romantic," Rachel whispered, squeezing his hand.

"Trust me, he's not," Kurt assured her. He couldn't stop the smile on his face as he thought about how Sebastian would react if he heard Rachel Berry was imagining he was some kind of dream prince. Kurt had enough of fairy tales. He took Rachel's hand firmly in his. "Rachel, can you promise me you won't tell anyone about this until I am ready to talk to Blaine? I don't want him to find out from someone else."

Rachel nodded. "Of course. Not a word."

Kurt smiled. "Thanks. I promise I'll tell him as soon as I can. It's just that with my NYADA reapplication pending and the whole thing being so new..."

"I understand," Rachel assured him. "So you haven't heard from Madame Tibideaux yet?" As Kurt shrugged, she nodded. "I'm sure she'll get back to you soon. I guess she's very busy right now, you know, selecting students for the Winter Showcase."

"I hope so. I have one more chance of getting into NYADA and I can't blow my audition."

"It's not your last chance, you know. You can still re-apply."

"No. I can't live my life chasing something that the universe is trying to tell me I am not good enough to achieve," Kurt replied firmly. If this whole thing with Blaine had taught him one thing, it was that dreams didn't always come true. It was better to stay realistic.

"No, not the universe. Just Carmen Tibideaux."

Kurt raised his eyebrow. "Is there a difference?"

Rachel sighed. She understood where he was coming from. Sometimes it did feel like there wasn't. "I just wish there was a way I'd get into the Winter Showcase. But there's no chance of that. Alexandra Blasucci was the last freshman to get one in the last _seven_ years and she was practically raised on the Broadway stage."

Kurt smiled wistfully. "Just getting into NYADA would be good enough for me." Of course it wasn't- not if he really searched inside himself. He could pretend all he wanted about being realistic, but his dreams were still as big as Rachel's. He also wanted that golden envelope, but the chances of him getting one were even smaller than Rachel's. At least she was actually a student.

"You'll make it," Rachel said confidently. "You've got me _and_ breakfast-guy now to back you up." She winked. Kurt smiled and sat back. That was true. He really did have Sebastian now.

\--

'...And then I got one, Bas, I got a golden ticket!" Kurt exclaimed excitedly, clutching his phone in one hand and the envelope in the other. He was at the men's room of NYADA, the only place Rachel couldn't follow. His fingers had been halfway to dialing Blaine's number, when he realized there was someone else he wanted to tell first. Kurt had only come to Rachel's school to ask Madame Tibideaux if she had received his reapplication, and then he had actually gotten invited to re-audition, and not just any old time: at the Winter Showcase, in front of Carmen Tibideaux and the faculty, famous NYADA alumni, and several handpicked students. It was insane!

"...to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory?" Sebastian asked, sounding a little confused. Kurt tsked.

"No, an invitation to perform at the NYADA Winter Showcase, silly. It's like the NYADA Met ball. Ten students are invited to perform at the showcase a year. The cream of the cream. Carmen Tibideaux hand-writes and hand-delivers every invitation. Just getting invited is an honor. Former winners have gone on to win Emmys, Tonys, Golden Globes, and even an Oscar. And they all agree: the proudest and greatest moment of their careers was when Carmen handed them that golden envelope." Kurt sounded a little winded by the time he was done explaining. A little voice in the back of his head nagged that Blaine would have known what this was about right away, but he reminded himself firmly that he couldn't blame Sebastian for that. He was just not such a Broadway junkie as Blaine was, and he wasn't active on the NYADA blogs and forums like Kurt had been the last few months.

"But... you're not a NYADA student," Sebastian replied. "I mean, not yet, anyway."

"I know. She said she was making an exception for me and that I was her eleventh guest. I won't actually be in the competition, but I _will_ get to sing for her again. Isn't it amazing? I'm getting a second chance."

"Hmm. Sure. If that's what she's doing. I don't know, Kurt. I mean, from what you've told me, this woman hardly sounds rational. She tells you your audition was great, then dumps you, and Berry gets in because she stalks her? I wouldn't get my hopes up. It sounds to me like she just enjoys pulling people's strings."

Kurt frowned. "No, she's not... it's not like that. I really think this is a chance for me. Like... a sign that she's ready to listen to me now. To really listen."

Sebastian paused for a moment as he made up his mind. "In that case... when is it? I want to be there. You know, just to make sure that Tibideaux woman is playing fair."

Kurt smiled at his reflection in the mirror, but it faded a little as he realized he couldn't take Sebastian to the Showcase. "Next Friday. But...it's invitation only, Sebastian," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay," Sebastian said smoothly, pushing away his disappointment, "I have to work anyway."

"I really wish-" Kurt started, but Sebastian cut him off.

"Maybe next time. So do you know what you're going to sing yet?"

Kurt leaned against the wall and let his head fall back. "God, no. I have nothing prepared and it's such short notice. I thought about something from Phantom, but she gets that all the time, or maybe Sunset Boulevard... but it just doesn't feel right. She knows all of them, Bastian, all of the great singers on Broadway. No matter what song I pick, she's always going to compare it to someone who will have sung it better than me!"

"So... don't sing a Broadway song," Sebastian suggested. He walked over to his laptop and sat down in front of it, opening itunes.

"But-" Kurt started.

"I'm serious. New Directions did rock and pop classics all the time, right? And you won Nationals with that, Kurt. I'm sure you have a dozen songs up your sleeve that complement your voice that Carmen Tibedeaux hasn't heard a thousand times before."

Kurt chewed his lip. Could Sebastian be right? He thought about his solos in Glee Club. The reactions to his big show numbers had always been awkwardly appreciative; he had gotten a lot more applause for _I Want to Hold Your Hand_ or _I Have Nothing_. He had always blamed his fellow Gleeclubbers’ lack of Broadway knowledge. Pop songs were more accessible to them. But what if that wasn't because of the song, but because of the way he sang them? Maybe, though he lived and breathed musicals, the music that had been written since he was born was more apt to express what he felt than 70s standards.

"I'll think about it," he said finally.

"Do you want me to come over and go through your playlists between jobs?" Sebastian offered.

Kurt hesitated. "Rachel doesn't have classes this week," he said carefully. "Could I come to your place tomorrow?"

A breath. "Sure. Of course."

Kurt smiled. "Great. I'll pick you up at seven at Starbucks. See you then."

Sebastian hung up and shook his head at himself. He really hoped Kurt wasn't going to be disappointed. He didn't trust that Tibideaux. Maybe he should ask his father if he had any dirt on her- with such a high profile, surely her record wasn't 100% clean. Then he sighed. What was he thinking? His dad hadn't even cared enough to get him un-expelled from the Le Grand, why would he bother helping a friend of his son? Especially a _boyfriend_. Sebastian's expression hardened. They were on their own.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt sings for Carmen Tibideaux again, and an unexpected visitor shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe: Set during 4x09, 'Swan Song'

"I'm gonna die. I'm literally going to  _die_ on stage."

"No, you're not."

"I am. Carmen Tibideaux is going to hear the first bars of the song and then she's going to announce to all of the faculty that I am not worthy of getting into NYADA."

"No, she's not," Rachel argued. "Look, I don't know why you wanted to do a non-Broadway song when musicals have always been your go-to standards but who knows, it might just be the thing that convinces her."

"Or the thing that kills me," Kurt replied gloomily.

"Stop it," Rachel said firmly. "Enough with the doom scenarios. I know you're nervous, and I know this is an important night for you, but this is not the time to freak out, okay? Here-" She brushed down Kurt's velvet jacket and looked into his eyes. "You can do this. You are  _made_ for this stage, Kurt. Now switch off your worries and give me your show-face."

Kurt took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and straightened his shoulders. He nodded at Rachel. "Okay," he said. "I can do this."

"Yes," Rachel agreed. "I'm gonna hurry to the ladies' room now, okay? Intermission will be over soon and I don't think I'm supposed to be back here with you." She tiptoed up and kissed his cheek. "Break a leg."

*

Rachel made her way down the many steps and was about to turn the corner to the facilities when she froze. She had seen someone from the corner of her eye. She shivered like she had seen a ghost.

" _Sebastian Smythe_ ?" she said incredulously. 

Sebastian turned to face her. For lack of any formal clothes, he had put on his old Dalton blazer. He looked thinner than she remembered, and his hair was styled differently, but it was definitely him.

"Hello, Rachel," Sebastian said, offering her that sly smile she hated so much.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, stepping closer so they wouldn't be overheard. "How did you find us?" The boy shrugged.

"Blaine told me. He practically bragged like it was something  _he_ personally arranged," Sebastian lied smoothly. Blaine  _had_ told him about Kurt's audition after all, even though Kurt had already told him before.

Rachel raised her chin. "We're all very proud of Kurt. This is a very important night for him. And you still haven't told me what you're doing here. This is not a public performance."

Sebastian shrugged again. He didn't really have an answer to that. If he couldn't tell Rachel he came to support his boyfriend, what could he tell her? "I was in town and I thought it'd be fun to catch up."

"Distract him, you mean," Rachel replied coldly. "Don't think I don't remember you, Smythe. I know what you are capable of. You can't hide behind that blazer. If you were ever a  _real_ Warbler you would have never tampered with that slushie or tried to blackmail us. If you think I'm going to let you sneak in there without an invitation and ruin Kurt's chances of getting into NYADA, you'd better think again, because there's no way-"

"Is there a problem here?" a male voice asked from behind her. Rachel turned around. It was Brody. Rachel sighed in relief.

"Hey. No, there's no problem. Is there?" She gave Sebastian a sharp look. He calculated his chances. The guy who had just showed up looked physically capable of throwing him out (or knock him out), and if that happened, it would surely cause a disturbance, maybe even really ruin Kurt's performance. He couldn't take that risk.

"Nah. I was just leaving. It suddenly stinks like testosterone in here, and some of it might even be  _his_ ." He cocked his head at Rachel and smirked. She stared him down. Sebastian clenched his fists, feeling his fingernails biting into his palms. If it wasn't for Kurt, he would have given her a fair piece of his mind. But then, if not for Kurt, he wouldn't be here at all. He turned around and headed for the exit. After making sure they couldn't see him anymore, he took out the crumpled rose he had hastily hidden in the torn lining of his blazer as he saw Rachel, and threw it in the trash.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt sings for Carmen Tibideaux again, and an unexpected visitor shows up (continued).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe: Set during 4x09, 'Swan Song'

Kurt stepped out onto the stage. The lights were blinding, but he had already memorized where everyone sat before the break. There, to his right, would be Carmen Tibideaux. Then down the rows left of the middle path, Rachel and Brody. It was tempting to focus on them rather than on Ms Tibideaux, (because they, at least, would be sending positive thoughts his way), but Kurt knew he ought to impress the entire hall and that wouldn't work if he stared at his friends while he sang. He straightened his shoulders and lifted his chin.

"Hello. My name is Kurt Hummel, and I will be auditioning for the role of... NYADA student," he announced, the first half rolling off his tongue easily after his many auditions for Glee Club. A few murmurs went through the audience, and some coughed quietly or shuffled their feet. Ms Tibideaux had announced his special situation before the break, explaining that he was the eleventh guest and a potential student. Kurt could feel all eyes on him. They were probably all wondering why he deserved this chance. Kurt took a deep breath and cleared his mind. Now was not the time to give into self-consciousness and doubt. His song choice would help with that. He looked into the audience and started singing, delivering the first lines acapella.

_I will walk unafraid_

_I'll be clumsy instead_

_Hold my 'love me or leave me' high..._

He drew out the last word, filling the hall with his voice. He rose from his lower register into a clear high note that echoed against the large curved ceiling, never losing power or volume. Thus setting the tone, he waited for the music to set in, and went into the song.

_...I was born into this life a little lamb_

_a little lamb_

_courageous, stumbling - fearless was my middle name_

_but somewhere there I lost my way  
everyone walks the same_

_expecting me to tread the narrow path they take..._

It was a strange choice, an unusual song from an album so famous the song itself was usually overshadowed by the other songs, well-loved and often-played pop classics. The original vocal part wasn't very challenging, but Kurt had changed the arrangement to show off his unique range, and he felt that the lyrics expressed what he wanted to say- much like Lady Gaga's songs did (but those would have been a risk too great for this crowd and he didn't have time to work on a costume anyway). The song would have to speak for itself. As he continued, he was glad he couldn't see the audience. This way, even if they hated the song, he would be able to continue and sing it out to the end.

_...They say "keep within the boundaries if you want to play"_

_Say "contradiction only makes it harder"_

_How can I be_

_What I want to be?_

_When all I want to do is strip away_

_These stilled constraints_

_And crush this charade_

_Shred this sad masquerade_

_I don't need no persuading_

_I'll trip, fall, pick myself up and_

_Walk unafraid..._

He ended the song with the same high note he started with, but tried to fill it with even more body, spreading his arms and closing his eyes, giving everything he had. He felt strong and unstoppable. If Ms Tibedeaux rejected him, he'd do as he sang- pick himself up and walk on. Hummels did not give in, ever.

The song ended and for a moment, the hall was silent. Kurt kept his eyes closed and his arms spread wide, enjoying the feeling that only singing from the heart gave him. It seemed like the audience was hesitant to break the trance. Then, after a few single claps, the silence was irrevocably breached and people started applauding and whistling, showing their appreciating with a swelling cacophony of sound that crashed into Kurt like a wave; applause, shouts, the rumble of seats being pushed back and people getting to their feet. Kurt stared wide-eyed into the lights, feeling a single tear slip down his face. This was not the sound of a heckling crowd... this was a standing ovation, for  _him_ , for Kurt Hummel- and whether Carmen Tibideaux accepted him into NYADA or not, this was something he had already earned, a moment no one would be able to take away from him.

_I wish my dad was here_ , Kurt thought as the lights dimmed and the hall came into focus. He saw Rachel and Brody stand together, beaming and sharing proud looks, and another thought hit him.  _I wish Sebastian was here, too._

_\--_

"Kurt, you were amazing.  _Best. Solo. Ever._ " Rachel assured him as she crushed him in her arms, hugging him close to her chest. Brody was giving him a confident half-smile over her shoulder and nodded in agreement, even though it was the first time he had actually heard Kurt sing on his own. They had waited until the crowd of well-wishers had left before monopolizing him, and it felt like Rachel was trying to make up for that now by squeezing him.

"Thanks, Rach," Kurt wrangled out, "but...personal space...and breathing...becoming an issue...". He gave Brody a helpless look. Rachel's new beau understood the cue and gently peeled the girl's arms off him. Kurt took a grateful breath.

Rachel was still beaming. "I  _knew_ you could do it. You blew everyone away. And that  _song_ \- it was perfect."

"Yeah. You definitely made an impression tonight," Brody added. "It really stood out."

"Thanks, guys," Kurt said again. "I hope it was enough." He glanced at Ms Tibideaux. She was standing at the entrance to the lobby, talking to a circle of admirers. She hadn't talked to him yet, or even looked in his direction. Kurt suddenly thought about what Sebastian had said. What if she had just invited him to make herself look good, without the intention of ever considering him for NYADA?  _No_ , he told himself firmly, trying to recall the positive attitude he used to have before experience made him cynical.  _Sebastian's just a little more experienced and cynical than most._ Still, his heart skipped a beat as he saw Ms Tibideaux detach herself from her listeners and head in their direction. Rachel saw it too and slipped her hand around his, squeezing it softly.

"Mister Hummel," the NYADA teacher addressed him, her expression unreadable. "That was an inspired performance." A hint of a smile broke through on her face. "You have finally shown me depth, vulnerability and heart. I already knew you were  _daring_ when you danced around in those gold lamé pants." Her eyes twinkled. Kurt blushed. Ms Tibideaux offered him her hand. "Welcome to NYADA. We expect you at the start of the new term in January. Your official acceptance letter will arrive my mail. I advise you to prepare well, Mister Hummel. You will have a lot of catching up to do. You'll be a semester behind on your peers."

"I...  _really_ ? I mean, yes. I will. Thank you, ma'm," Kurt stammered. He was so stunned he almost forgot to shake her hand. It felt like he ought to bow or curtsy or just throw himself at her feet. He got in!

"I will help him, Ms Tibideaux, and so will Brody, we'll dedicate our entire holidays to it, I promise, I just know Kurt will do well-"

"Spend your time practicing your dance routines, Ms Berry," Carmen Tibideaux interrupted her coldly. "From what Ms July tells me, they need work. I am already confident Mr Hummel will do well. I rarely give someone a second chance unless I believe they deserve it."

Rachel paled visibly and nodded. Ms Tibideaux wished them all a productive holiday season and took her leave. Kurt stared after her, still unable to believe what had just happened.

"I got in," he whispered. Rachel snapped out of her trance and focused back on him.

"Yes! Oh my god, Kurt, you know what that means, don't you? You and me at NYADA, together! Finally!" She made a move to hug him again but Brody quickly stepped in between them, catching this one for the team (and for the chance to feel her up, Kurt supposed). As Rachel detached herself again, she was a little flushed.

"I'm so glad we were able to stop that creep from interrupting your performance," she said, trying to pretend nothing had happened by distracting her audience with a new topic. "It would have only had half the impact if you had been disturbed-"

"What creep?" Kurt asked, cocking his head. Someone had tried to stop his performance?

Rachel rolled her eyes at the memory. "Right before you went on, I was coming back to the hall and I saw him, trying to get in. Smythe. Mister ex-Warbler-Slushy-Thrower-Boyfriend Stealer-Blackmailer  _Sebastian Smythe_ ." Her voice held enough venom for Brody to take a step back.

Kurt blinked. "Sebastian was here?"

"I know, hard to believe, right?" Rachel replied. "He said Blaine had told him about your performance and he wanted to 'catch up'; I can't  _believe_ those two are still friends-"

"Rachel."

"-I bet he had planned to throw another slushy or pick a fight right in front of-"

" _Rachel_ !" Kurt repeated, needing her to stop talking bad about Sebastian. Rachel broke off her litany and looked up at him in surprise.

Kurt swallowed. He had effectively shut her up, but it also meant he had to come clean. He took a deep breath. "I was the one who told him about my performance," he explained. "I just didn't think he'd actually come. Sebastian's my-... he's... the breakfast guy."

"What?" both Rachel and Brody asked, Rachel because she knew what that meant and Brody because he didn't.

Kurt bit his lip. "I met him again a few months ago here in New York and we...sort of became friends. And then, more than that. It just happened, I guess." He hated that cliched phrase (implying a loss of control and rationality, which was just.not.him.), but it was the best explanation he had.

"But, Kurt, he threatened to put nude pictures of Finn on the internet," Rachel said, shocked. "And after what he did to Blaine... I don't understand. Is this, like, Stockholm Syndrome? Or are you trying to prove something to Blaine?"

Kurt shook his head. "Trust me, this has nothing to do with Blaine. I just like him, Rachel. He's changed a lot since school. And so have I, I guess."

Rachel still looked like she was waiting for him to tell her the punchline. Kurt shrugged. He had stopped finding a rational explanation for his feelings for Sebastian weeks ago.

"I think he's serious, Rach," Brody said carefully. "And if they're happy together, why not, right?" He smiled at Kurt.

Rachel shot him a guilty look. "Kurt, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I told him to get out." She bit her lip.

Kurt studied her for a moment. He was angry, but he knew she had just meant well. It was his own fault for not telling her about Sebastian. Still, her guilty mood could be put to use. "I promise I won't get mad if you promise you won't tell anyone before I am ready to tell them myself. Especially Blaine," he offered by ways of a truce. Rachel quickly nodded.

"I already promised you I wouldn't tell," she said softly. Of course, that was before she knew it was Sebastian. Kurt knew he was asking a lot of her.

"Which will be soon," he promised. "I just need some more time." He looked around the empty hall. "But right now, I need to call my dad."

Rachel smiled. "And then we're gonna party!" She hopped on her toes a little.

Kurt grinned and nodded. "Yes. But not tonight." He took his phone from his pocket. "Don't wait up," he said, raising an eyebrow and winking at Brody. Before Rachel could say anything, Brody took her hand and pulled her away to give Kurt privacy for his call. Clearly he had understood the hint and didn't want to waste the opportunity to have the loft to themselves.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winter Showcase after-party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe: Set during 4x09

"Sebastian, come on. Open up! I have something to tell you!" Kurt shouted, pounding the door with the flat of his palm again. He knew his boyfriend was there- there had been music playing when he walked up to the door, which had suddenly stopped when he knocked. " _Bastian_ ," he said again, not understanding why he was left waiting in the hall. Finally he couldn't wait anymore. "I got in! I got into NYADA!"

A few seconds later, the door opened. "Really?" Sebastian asked. He was shirtless and sweaty and looking a little flushed.

"Yes, really," Kurt confirmed, frowning a little. "What are you doing?" He tore his eyes away from Sebastian's naked chest to peer around him into the room.

"Working out," Sebastian said, stepping aside. "These abs don't come for free." Kurt hummed and walked into the small apartment. It was even messier than usual. Sebastian's chair was pushed aside and a towel lay on the floor, half-draped over a set of weights. It reminded Kurt of the way Blaine's room sometimes looked when he came by unexpectedly, and he remembered how his ex-boyfriend liked to work out when something had upset him. He used to say the burn in his muscles distracted him from his thoughts. Kurt turned around to look at Sebastian.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Rachel told me you came to the Showcase."  _And clearly had some trouble deciding what to wear_ , Kurt added in his mind, looking at the pile of clothes on the bed. On top was Sebastian's Dalton blazer.

Sebastian shrugged. "Didn't get past the door. But you did say it was invitation only."

"Yeah, but Rachel was probably more rude than necessary while telling you so," Kurt suggested. Sebastian shrugged again.

"I guess I deserved that," the boy said, studying his boyfriend. Kurt looked radiant, fresh from his big victory, and Sebastian was loathe to spoil his good mood. Working out had already helped him feel better and put things into perspective. "Rachel has a right to be angry with me, Kurt."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "You really think that? Or are you just telling me what you think I want to hear?"

Sebastian avoided Kurt's eyes by picking up the towel and draping it around his neck. "Isn't that why I am your dirty secret?" he asked, and straightened to look at Kurt. "I don't belong in your world. Rachel only reminded me of that."

Sebastian wasn't sure why he was telling Kurt this. His boyfriend already knew it. He had just been fooling himself. Being with Kurt, talking about his plans for NYADA, helping him pick out his music; it had made Sebastian believe he was part of Kurt's life, but Rachel had firmly reminded him of where he stood. During his work-out, Sebastian had decided he could live with that- it was still a lot better than his anonymous hookups. Still, something masochistic inside of him wanted to hear Kurt say it.

"You're ashamed of me, aren't you?" Sebastian prompted. He tugged at the towel around his neck frustratedly. He might know it was inevitable, but that didn't mean he liked it.

Kurt was shocked. "You're not my dirty-" he started, and broke off. "This isn't just about tonight, is it? You're upset because I asked you not to tell anyone."

"I'm not upset."

"Then why didn't you open the door just now? And why are you working out at this hour?"

Sebastian didn't reply, but Kurt could read the answer in his eyes. Kurt realized he had really hurt his boyfriend with his request to keep their relationship between them. He had just never thought that Sebastian would mind. Wasn't he the one who always made fun of his friends' need to announce their relationships on facebook or in public? Kurt had just assumed Sebastian didn't care about things like that. He closed the gap between them and took Sebastian's hand.

"I'm  _not_ ashamed of you. I am just ashamed I didn't have the guts to tell my friends how happy you make me. I will make up for that, I promise." He paused. "I told Rachel about us," he added quietly. "And I  _will_ tell the others as soon as I get the chance to talk to them in person. I just feel they deserve that much. Especially Blaine."

"So he has the chance to try and talk you into taking him back?" Sebastian replied. He knew he was pushing it now, forcing Kurt to share more of his private thoughts than he usually did, but he needed clarity. If Kurt was only keeping him to pressure Blaine...

Kurt shook his head. " _No_ , because he's one of my best friends," he explained, "and that's what friends do. You know... talk. Communicate. Even when it hurts."

"Right," Sebastian replied, looking down on Kurt's hand in his. It was hard to be angry with him. He knew exactly what to say, how to look... Sebastian realized he had already forgiven him as he knocked on his door.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell them," he said. "I know I'm not exactly the kind of guy you've been dreaming of since you were a little boy."

Kurt shook his head. It was hard to see Sebastian defeated like this and know it was his fault. He had to do something to make it right.

"I was dreaming of you tonight," he replied honestly. "I'm here, aren't I? It was  _your_ song choice that helped me get into NYADA, and it is  _you_ I want to celebrate with." He looked into Sebastian's eyes. He wanted to make sure the other boy understood that. "I'm sorry about tonight. It means a lot to me that you came. I should have told Rachel earlier so she wouldn't have treated you like she did. And I'm sorry for making you feel like... like a secret."

Sebastian studied him. He believed it when Kurt said he was really sorry, but it had taken him over an hour to convince himself of the opposite and it was hard to switch off.

"So..." he started slowly, "Ms Tibideaux really liked the song?" He smiled a little at the thought. Kurt smiled back. Sebastian refused to acknowledge that seeing that did something to him inside.

"She said it had, uh, depth, vulnerability and heart," Kurt cited proudly.

"Good," Sebastian replied. "Then I can call off my dad's private investigators."

Kurt chuckled. "Yeah."

Sebastian grinned. It felt like they were back to normal for now. The best thing was probably to move on. He let go of Kurt's hand and pulled the towel off of his neck.

"So, how do you wanna celebrate? I took the night off, so we can go where ever you want.  _InFlagrante_ , or that fancy NYADA place you like... I mean, you're a student now, right? So you could even get up there and sing if you wanted." He looked around the room until his eyes landed on the bed. "I'd better go find a shirt."

"Ah- maybe you should shower first," Kurt suggested. His eyes lingered on Sebastian's chest for a moment before looking up into his eyes. "I could help you with that..."

Sebastian smirked. "Not when I actually want to get clean, Kurt," he teased, echoing his boyfriend's words back at him.

"You could always clean up again afterwards," Kurt said innocently, giving him an angelic look that was spoiled only by the hungry way he licked his lips. Sebastian swallowed hard. No need to look for a shirt. It seemed Kurt had already picked the place he wanted to celebrate, and it was clothing optional.

*

"Kurt..." Sebastian said hoarsely, looking down on his boyfriend through wet eyelashes and dripping bangs. "You know you don't...owe me anything, right?"

It took every last remaining breath of Warbler honor inside of Sebastian to make himself say it, but he knew he had to. Even if Kurt was currently on his knees, blinking up at him with flushed cheeks, inches away from the part of Sebastian's body that didn't have  _any_ dapper Warbler thoughts. He wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't. He needed to know if Kurt wasn't just doing this to apologize.

"I know," Kurt said simply, and clearly considered the topic closed, because he continued his discovery of Sebastian's abdomen, tracing the freckles that spattered his skin like he was trying to connect the dots with his tongue. Sebastian sucked in a breath and let his head rest back against the tiles of the shower. Kurt had given him absolution. He closed his eyes and accepted the fact that he was just a lucky bastard.

Kurt was good at this. Too good, maybe, and for a brief moment, Sebastian had to force his thoughts away from the only way Kurt could have learned –  _Blaine_ . He threaded his fingers into the hair at the back of Kurt's neck and tried to empty his mind. He didn't want to think about stupid gelled Warblers or why Kurt carried flavored condoms in his wallet. Help came from Kurt relaxing his throat  _just so_ , clearing all thoughts from Sebastian's mind. His eyes shot open and he looked down, watching Kurt frown in concentration, his eyes firmly closed as he fisted his own erection in time with the rhythm of his lips. It was this sight that made Sebastian come, and the jerky movement of his hips caused Kurt to open his eyes and look up at him as he stuttered through his release. Sebastian cursed. Seeing Kurt like this was obscene and arousing at the same time, and to be honest, damn confusing. He would  _never_ have a chance of being the gentleman Kurt deserved if his boyfriend was going to do things like this. At the same time, it made his knees go weak and he knew he had fallen hard. 

He felt Kurt swallow heavily against the latex, the spasms of his throat squeezing him in a struggle for breath, and watched Kurt's body follow suit shortly after. Sebastian carefully pulled away and gave Kurt a few moments to recover his breath before helping him up to his feet. Well aware that anything he could say now would sound cheesy, Sebastian said nothing and simply kissed him instead, chasing the artificial strawberry flavor that lingered in his boyfriend's mouth. Blindly, he reached for the body wash that doubled as his shampoo, and flicked it open with one hand.

For once, Kurt didn't mind that the product in Sebastian's palms was no-name and that it would probably cause his skin to flare up or his hair to get weighed down by silicone. Instead, he simply closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of Sebastian's strong hands massaging the body wash into his shoulders and running his fingers over his scalp. Oddly enough (after what they had just done), it made him think of home. It felt strangely domestic and familiar to stand there and let Sebastian wash him. For a moment, Kurt felt a heartbreaking longing back to childhood and bathing with his mother. His dad was all business and didn't take the time to make him a shampoo mohawk or blow soap bubbles at him. After she died, Kurt soon took to washing his hair by himself.   
  
It was all he could do not to look too moon-eyed at his boyfriend when he sprayed him down. All that was missing were big fluffy towels and cookies on the couch.

"Do you have any Oreos?" he asked, and Sebastian gave him the cutest- be it very puzzled- look.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt celebrates his victory with his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe: Set right before Bildungsromance I's Epilogue.

There was a knocking on the door and Kurt turned to face Rachel. "Be nice," he admonished her for what was probably the tenth time that evening. It was Kurt's NYADA party and he had invited Sebastian to come too. It was time Rachel saw he was really serious about this. Kurt just hoped they'd be able to be civil to each other.

He went to the sliding door of the loft and pushed it open. A motley group of party guests greeted him on the other side; Isabelle had brought several of Kurt's soon to be ex-colleagues and quite a few of her model friends. All of them were carrying something- presents and wine bottles and flowers... and was that a garment bag?

"Surprise!" Isabelle said cheerfully. "We all wanted to come and see you off, Kurt, I hope you don't mind. Oh my god, this place is gorgeous. Who would have thought? In Bushwhick..." She stepped inside and greeted Rachel. As the women exchanged compliments about each others' looks, Kurt let the others in and showed them to the buffet table.

"Hey Kurt," a familiar voice said from the doorway, and Kurt turned to see Chase standing there, one hand in his pocket, the other cradling a bottle of champagne. He was looking very stylish. _A bit like a champagne ad_ , Kurt mused as he looked the designer up and down. _I'd buy that._

"Chase," he said, pushing his inappropriate thoughts from his mind, "I wasn't sure you'd want to come."

Chase smiled nonchalantly. "And miss the chance of meeting your elusive new boyfriend?"

Kurt blushed. "He isn't here yet. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Sure. Oh, and Kurt?" Chase said, a smile playing on his lips, "let me know when the karaoke part of your party starts so I know when to call a cab." He winked.

Half an hour later, the party was in full swing. Isabelle's friends were real party makers and Brody had stopped by too to help Rachel fuss over the buffet. In between toasts to his health and future, Kurt kept checking his phone. Sebastian wasn't there yet. Was he still coming? Did something happen? Or had he just decided that meeting Rachel and Kurt's other New York friends wasn't worth it? Before Kurt had the time to send him a text, Isabelle called for his attention. Kurt put his phone away and directed his attention to his boss.

Isabelle raised her glass. "Now, Kurt, as you came to vogue dot com for your interview, you already told me you could only take a 6 month internship because after that, you'd be starting at NYADA," she started, smiling, and Kurt returned the smile, shrugging apologetically. "From anyone else, this probably would have sounded arrogant, but it only took me a few days to realize that you really meant it and you weren't just bragging- because you have talent and you know it." Kurt's friends applauded. Isabelle continued. "So I've had a few months to come to term with this moment," she said, gesturing at one of her models to step forward, "and to prepare a proper parting gift." The model held up the garment bag. "But before you open it, I want you to know that we would all like to see you back at Vogue some day, Kurt. Part-time or freelance... just let me know, okay?"

"Hear hear," Chase and a few others added.

"Okay," Kurt said, his voice breaking a little. He was moved beyond words by her compliments. He reached out to accept the gift but waited with opening it, looking at Isabelle for a cue. She smiled and nodded.

"It's something I designed a while ago, but I never had it made. Then I met you and thought, if anyone can wear it, it's you. Chase helped me with your size, I'm not very good with guys."

Kurt paled. He had expected a Vogue cast-off, maybe a small brand item or set piece to put on display in his apartment to remind him of his internship, but this- it was too much! He wanted to say so, but curiosity got the better of him. He zipped open the bag and revealed an aquamarine dinner jacket with a large silver lobster embroidered on the left shoulder pad. It was outrageously gorgeous.

"I had this whole 'Under The Sea' phase for a while," Isabelle explained, and Kurt nodded, biting his lip.

"I remember," he whispered in awe. "Critics said it was too _Nemo_ , but I always thought it was visionary."

"There's something on the inside pocket, too," Isabelle added. Kurt lifted the front panel to look at the lining and saw a small silver mermaid stitched onto the pocket with the words 'Follow your dreams'. It was discrete and personal, and by now Kurt could no longer stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks.

"I love it," he whispered. "Thank you so much. Thanks, all of you." Rachel helpfully took the jacket from him so he had his hands free to hug Isabelle. He squeezed her tightly. "I'll wear it to my first premiere and tell everyone it's yours," he promised. Happy beyond words, he hugged Chase as well, and then caught movement from the corner of his eye and saw Sebastian enter the loft. He quickly let go of the other man.

"Typical," Chase whispered teasingly. Kurt ran a hand through his hair and hoped he didn't look too winded. His boyfriend gave him an unreadable look as he walked up.

"Uh, Sebastian, I was just... this is Chase Madison, from Vogue. Chase, my boyfriend Sebastian Smythe."

"Ah, yes," Chase said pleasantly, holding out his hand. "I heard a lot about you."

"Me too," Sebastian replied, raising his eyebrow and glancing at Kurt for a moment. So this was Chase. He was...old. Kurt actually tried dating him? Sure, he was cute enough, and very well-dressed, but he had to be at least thirty-five. Was that really what Kurt wanted? Sebastian was suddenly glad he hadn't been let into the Winter Showcase after all. Compared to Chase in all of his Hugo Boss slickness, he would have looked ridiculous in his Warbler blazer. Before he could continue that line of thought, Chase spoke.

"So are you related to _Smythe, Gillard & Stone, _that huge law firm in Manhattan?"

Sebastian shrugged. "My dad likes to pretend I'm not."

Chase frowned a little. "I'm sorry," he offered, but Sebastian shook it off.

"It's okay, it's not like I ever planned to make it _Smythe & Son_. He can keep his firm and his money and his homophobic self-righteousness."

Kurt bit his lip and tried to think of something to save the both of them from this uncomfortable topic. "Come and see what Isabelle and Chase made for me, Bas," he said a little too cheerfully, and looped his arm through Sebastian's, leading him away from Chase and towards the jacket, that Rachel had draped over Kurt's standing mannequin by the wall. "Isn't it amazing? There's only one piece in existence, and it's _mine_. An Isabelle original. And look!" Kurt showed Sebastian the embroidery on the inside. He brushed his fingers over the silver mermaid fondly. Sebastian looked at the jacket impassively, still brooding about Chase. It was loud, but he had seen Kurt in more extreme designs than this. As far as the color went, at least it matched his eyes. The dedication was a nice touch. Still, it was something he would never consider wearing. Would Chase?

"It's...very you," he said finally.

Kurt studied him. Sebastian's reaction seemed off. Even if he didn't like designer clothes, he was usually more engaged. "Did something happen at work?" he asked carefully. "You're kind of late, and you seem tense."

Sebastian shook off Kurt's arm. "Busy day. I would have tried to get here sooner if I had known you'd be schmoozing it up with Mr Britney Spears," he replied, sounding a little petulant. He didn't like feeling inferior, and Kurt's former crush from work had a lot going for him that Sebastian couldn't offer; a sense of fashion, a respectable job...

Kurt frowned. "Don't call him that. And I was just thanking him, Sebastian." He paused. "Are you jealous?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Why? He's like, 40." He looked away, chewing his bottom lip.

Kurt cocked his head and said nothing. Eventually, Sebastian spoke again, keeping his eyes on the aquamarine jacket. "So what if I was?"

Kurt smiled softly. "Then I'd remind you that Chase and I only went on _one_ date, and I came to see _you_ directly after that," he said, putting his hand on his boyfriend's arm and squeezing it gently. "And then I'd kiss you to drive the last doubts from your mind."

Sebastian looked back at him and grinned. "Then I'm jealous," he stated, and reached for Kurt, pulling him close with one hand at the nape of his neck and kissing him passionately.

Kurt counted it as a victory. He knew he should take this seriously- if Sebastian was really jealous of Chase he'd have to make an effort to make it clear that nothing was going on between them or risk the whole thing escalating like it had with Blaine and Chandler. But it was also very flattering to see him like this, and his kiss left Kurt wishing the party was already over so they'd have privacy. There was nothing wrong with a little jealousy if it made Sebastian assert his claim like this.

Someone cleared their throat next to them. Reluctantly, Sebastian let go of Kurt. "Hi Rachel," he said, smiling easily. Kurt had convinced him he was telling the truth about Chase for now. Of course he'd still need to keep an eye on the guy in case the man had other ideas.

Rachel gave him a disapproving look but pressed her lips into a smile for Kurt. "Sebastian. Kurt told me about, um, you two. You could have said something at the Showcase."

"You said enough for the both of us, Rachel. Forget about it." Sebastian slipped his arm around Kurt's waist. "Of course I wish I could have seen Kurt's performance, but at least I was invited to the after-party." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Rachel tsked on cue.

Kurt grinned. Time to go before Sebastian said anything else about his 'special performance' of that evening after the showcase. He wouldn't put it beyond him. "I'll leave you two to, ah, catch up," he said, stepping away from his boyfriend's grip.

Suddenly, Sebastian was alone with Rachel, and they both looked around the room as if to avoid each other's eyes.

"So..." Sebastian said finally, trailing off.

"Yes?" Rachel asked sharply. Sebastian shrugged.

"Nothing," he said. "I know you don't like me, Rachel. You don't have to pretend that you do for Kurt's sake."

"I'm not."

"Oh, good. I was already worried this was your most convincing happy face," Sebastian replied, and then sighed. "Look. I get it. You don't trust me. But it's Kurt's decision. You need to accept that and move on."

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest. "How do I know you aren't blackmailing him into all of this? You've tried stuff like that before. You might be, I don't know, threatening his dad, or-" She gasped. "Maybe you had your father pull strings at NYADA and this is how you make Kurt repay you." She looked at him with wide eyes.

Despite himself, Sebastian laughed. "Only someone from the New Directions could come up with something like that," he replied, shaking his head. "I'm not some archvillian from a Bond movie, Rachel. I would never stoop so low as to force anyone into a relationship. Besides, do you really think Kurt would accept a place at NYADA if this was the price?"

Rachel opened her mouth to say something and then closed it again. She might have if the alternative was not getting into NYADA. But would Kurt? No. He had too much integrity for that. She pressed her lips together and shook her head. Sebastian's expression grew serious again.

"I admit I made a few mistakes in high school," he added, "and not a day goes by that I don't feel guilty about that- especially when I hear about cases like Karofsky's. But you can't expect me to spend the rest of my life apologizing for the things I did when I was sixteen. Kurt knows how I feel and he's accepted that part of me. You can either do the same- or not, Rachel. It's up to you."

Rachel thought about it. He sounded reasonable. And she had definitely made her share of mistakes too. She just didn't want to see Kurt get hurt again, and Sebastian had a bad track record. Wasn't it predestined to go wrong? Then again, she had always adored Blaine and he had hurt Kurt more than she had ever seen her friend suffer. Clearly past good behavior was no guarantee for the future. Finally, she nodded.

"Okay," she said. "I'll try."

"Thanks." Sebastian wasn't sure why, but he actually meant it. He knew he didn't need Rachel Berry's approval and if it was just about him, he wouldn't have bothered- but he didn't want Kurt to constantly feel torn in two trying to please the both of them. "So..." he said again. "Drink?"

"Yeah," Rachel agreed gratefully.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to Lima is up next; Sebastian and Kurt's stepbrother see eye to eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeframe: Takes place after Bildungsromance I's epilogue

A few weeks before Christmas, Rachel and Kurt both got identical letters in the mail. Seeing they were from Lima, Kurt and Rachel decided to open them together. Kurt smiled as he saw his. It was a card with a picture of McKinley's new Glee Club, holding up a Regionals trophy and grinning brightly. Finn stood next to them, beaming as well.

"Is he wearing a  _vest_ ?" Kurt mumbled, peering at the photo. Finn was turning into Mister Schue more every day. It was creepy. He briefly glanced at Blaine's face and forced himself to be happy for his friend. Not wanting to linger, he quickly opened the card.

"Dear graduate, McKinley's award winning show choir is proud to invite you..." he read aloud, "to the first of what will hopefully be a yearly tradition of Christmas jubilees with their neighboring schools Dalton Academy and Haverbrook School for the Deaf." He looked up at Rachel. "Mine's signed by Blaine," he added quietly. It said _'hope to see you there xoxoxo B.'_

Rachel looked up from hers. "Mine's signed by Finn." She lowered the card. "Do you think we should go? Last time didn't exactly go well for us..."

Kurt thought about it. "Well, we'll be in Lima for Christmas anyway, right? And things are different now. We're not going there to see our exes. You've got Brody and I've got Sebastian..." He looked back at the picture and straightened his shoulders. "It's probably time to tell them about Bas anyway. You know, Mercedes, Tina...my dad...Blaine."

Rachel put her card away and took his hand. "They'll be okay," she said confidently. She was still getting used to the idea herself. "I mean, they'll probably be a little shocked," she added, "and you may want to tell Sebastian to curb the gay jokes around your dad..."

After watching the two of them at Kurt's party she had to admit Kurt and Sebastian were kind of cute together, even though she didn't understand why the boys liked making jokes at each other's expense so much. Blaine and Kurt never did that. It was a bit like listening to two male Santanas trying to best each other. Still, Kurt could dish out just as firmly as Sebastian and it didn't look like either took it very seriously.

Kurt smiled fondly as if he knew what she was thinking. "I already told him that. He's terrified, you know. I tried telling him that my dad is against keeping weapons in the house but that didn't really reassure him..." Kurt didn't actually worry about his dad so much. Unlike the New Directions, his father didn't know about the things Sebastian had done in high school. The only thing Sebastian had against him was that night after Scandals when he had been so drunk Carole had to patch him up and wash his clothes after he threw up in Kurt's bathroom.

"I'm just worried about Blaine. I don't want to hurt him. But something tells me-" he held up the card, "that he's still hoping we might get back together." He sighed. "I sort of told Mercedes I am seeing someone, but he doesn't know."

Rachel tightened her hand around Kurt's. "I'll prepare some duets to sing with him for after you tell him. That will distract him and singing always helps."

Kurt smiled. "It does." He was very glad she was on his side now. "So... let's plan outfits. Christmas... I'm thinking rich reds for you, Burgundy is your color."

*

"Are you sure your parents won't mind you're not there for Christmas?" Kurt asked again, his finger hovering over the order button for their flights from New York to Lima, Ohio.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Trust me, Kurt, it's the best Christmas present I could give them. My mom always organizes this huge benefit dinner where they pretend to care for some charity or other, though it's really just an excuse for my mom to act important around New York's VIPs and for my dad to network and find new clients. Sometimes I even suspected he hires such attractive catering service on purpose so there'll be scandals- which is the basis of his work. I would only get in the way there. I have this tendency to, uh, splurge on the drink whenever I see them- it's the only way I can stand being around my family- and as much as my dad feeds on indiscretions, he prefers them not to take place in his own family circles." He scoffed. "Last year I made out with the son of one of his friends, and he wasn't very amused. It was worth it, though. The guy was super hot. Or I thought so anyway, after five martinis."

Kurt swallowed. It was still hard for him to hear how casually his boyfriend discussed his former conquests. "I'll order the tickets now then," he announced, distracting himself.

"Great," Sebastian replied, though the thought of meeting Kurt's father again terrified him. Kurt turned around to face him.

"It'll be okay. I promise."

*

Kurt peered through the milky glass separating the luggage pick up from the arrivals hall in hopes of seeing his dad already, but none of the shapes looked like his cap-and-flannel wearing pater familias. Maybe he was waiting further in the back. Kurt shot a smile at Sebastian, hoping he looked more confident than he felt. After bearing with Sebastian's fretting on the plane for hours he was starting to feel nervous too. Sebastian had just fished Kurt's second suitcase off the track and heaved it onto a trolley with the other one. He only had a small bag himself, holding the bare necessities; his Dalton blazer, socks, underwear, a few shirts, his toothbrush and an extra pair of pants. He was already wearing the clothes Kurt had picked out for him for Christmas dinner with his parents, figuring they'd wrinkle less that way than when he'd have stuffed them in the bag too. He had feared the worst when Kurt had taken him shopping, but he actually liked the shirt and jacket they had gotten- clearly his boyfriend dressed less exuberantly in front of his dad than he did in New York.

He returned Kurt's smile. Seriously, he had faced worse, hadn't he? But somehow this was the first time Sebastian was actually worried. This time it wasn't his school career or position at the choir at stake - it was Kurt. From what he had gathered from Kurt's stories, there was only one person in his life he was willing to give up everything for, and it wasn't him- it was his dad. If his father told Kurt to stop seeing him, as much as the thought of a Romeo & Julian romance may appeal to Kurt, Sebastian didn't doubt his boyfriend would give him up. He had to make a good impression.

As they walked up to the sliding doors, Sebastian wondered if taking Kurt's hand would be a good move. That's what couples did, right? Would it look committed or possessive? He turned to Kurt and realized he couldn't take Kurt's hand because his boyfriend needed both hands to push his heavy trolley. Shit- he should have offered to take it, shouldn't he? "Do you want me to-?" he started, but Kurt shook his head.

"It's okay, Bastian. Just be yourself." It wasn't the first time Sebastian suspected Kurt of reading his mind. He hoped that didn't run in the family. If he had such a bad poker face, he was definitely in trouble with Kurt's dad.

"Yo, little bro, over here!" a familiar voice called out, and Kurt saw Finn towering over everyone else at the arrivals gate. He was wearing a vest again- Kurt really needed to talk to his stepbrother about that. It made him look old and pudgy. He was an ex-footballplayer and ex-soldier; there was no need to hide his physique behind shapeless knitwear. He nodded at Finn to signal he had seen him and started pushing his trolley in his direction. Sebastian followed. As they came closer, Kurt looked around for his dad.

"Hey Finn. Is my dad still with the car? Did something happen? Is he-?" he started as soon as he was within hearing range.

"Burt's fine. His flight from Washington got delayed. He'll be here by tonight though. What's  _he_ doing here?" Finn cut him off, glaring at Sebastian.

"Merry Christmas, Hudson," Sebastian greeted him with equal warmth. "Already picked out which pumps to wear to your recital?"

Kurt closed his eyes briefly. This was going to be a long car ride. He took a deep breath and faced his stepbrother. "Finn, Sebastian will be coming with us. He's my, uh-, my plus one." Finn gave him a blank look. "My boyfriend," Kurt elaborated. He felt rather than saw Sebastian take on a defensive posture next to him.

"Your what?" Finn started. "But! He's such a-" He broke off frustratedly "Why? Is it because he's a Warbler? I thought you said not all Warblers are gay. There must have been other gay guys to choose from..."

Kurt sighed. "It has nothing to do with that. We just started hanging out in New York and became friends. Sometimes people deserve a second chance."

"What about Blaine? Did you give him a second chance?"

Kurt lost his patience. He knew this was a weird situation for Finn, but he was tired of being the bad guy in this story. Why would everyone rather see him with the guy who had hurt him than with the guy who made him happy? "Blaine  _cheated_ on me, Finn. I trusted him and he hurt me. That's something else than trying to rig a competition." Kurt knew it was a bit of a low blow to Finn considering how he felt about Rachel and Brody, but then again, it was also just the truth. He could tell Finn was struggling with himself and decided to be even clearer. "Blaine and I are over. I know he doesn't believe that yet, but if you give me the chance to tell him about this before he has to find out from someone else, I promise I'll set it right. I will offer him a second chance at being my _friend_."

Finn nodded.

Sebastian scowled. If anyone asked him (which no one did) he'd say Blaine had enough chances. He was also getting tired of having to stand by while Kurt defended their relationship. This was only the second New Directions member but so far they had reacted exactly as he thought they would. It didn't bode well for the rest. It irritated him. He hated being judged. Sebastian had offered Rachel a truce because she was Kurt's roommate, but he really didn't give a damn if Finn Hudson approved of him or not. "Kurt forgot to mention I'm also better in bed," he added, making a suggestive hand gesture, and enjoyed the way Finn flushed three shades of red.

The tall boy was currently looking from Kurt to him and back like a trout on land. "Let's go to the car," he spluttered. He reached for Kurt's trolley and started pushing it away from them.

"That was unnecessary, Bastian," Kurt said quietly, though he was smiling a little.

"True though, isn't it?" Sebastian replied smugly.

"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer," Kurt said prissily, but Sebastian could tell he was blushing behind his ears and over the scar on his throat- which meant good things.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian meets Burt (again).

On the way to the Hudson-Hummel residence, Finn kept his eyes firmly on the road and gave only the briefest of replies to Kurt's attempts to make conversation. It wasn't until he breached the topic of Glee Club that Finn loosened up and started talking again. It was almost like he had forgotten Sebastian was in the car with them. Almost- he did keep sneaking angry glances at the backseat in the rearview mirror.

Carole was a lot more cordial. She welcomed Sebastian graciously without flinching at the word "boyfriend" or making any comments about Blaine and settled them all comfortably on the couch to wait for Burt to come home. At first, Sebastian wasn't really sure how to act around her, seeing as the last time he had been at Carole's house she had washed his vomit-stained clothes, but it was impossible not to relax around her. Sebastian caught himself judging the whole household in a new light; yes, it looked different than his parents' house, it was far less sterile and didn't look like a glossy lifestyle magazine spread- things he had noticed with disdain at his first visit- but it looked lived in, like an actual home you enjoyed going back to. He understood why Kurt had been looking forward to coming back here so much.

After the second round of homemade gingerbread and hot chocolate (with non-fat soy instead of milk for Kurt), the doorbell rang and they heard the door open shortly after that. "Anybody home?" Burt called from the hallway, sounding happy. Kurt rose from the couch immediately.

"Dad!" he called out, and rushed forward to catch him in an embrace as soon as he entered the living room. Burt dropped his suitcase and hugged his son back. For a moment, they just stood there clasping each other. To Sebastian, it was almost too intimate to watch, so he watched Finn and Carole instead. Carole was beaming and Finn looked a bit like he needed to poop ( _his standard expression_ , Sebastian thought vengefully). As soon as Burt let go of his son, Finn rose from the couch too and Sebastian realized it had actually been his 'impatient face'. Burt reached out to clap the large teen on the shoulder and ended up being bear-hugged by Finn instead. Sebastian smirked as he saw Kurt's father react with the same awkward indulgence Kurt displayed when affection was uninvitedly bestowed upon him. It was the first time he recognized anything of his boyfriend in the large ex-mechanic congressman.

After Carole had also greeted her husband and all of the Hudson-Hummel family were standing around Burt Hummel smiling happily in their little reunion circle, Sebastian found himself sitting alone on the couch with all of their eyes on him. He swallowed.

"Dad," Kurt started, "I told you I was going to bring someone I met in New York... well, I met Sebastian there...again. We, uh- are dating now."

Burt nodded minutely, studying the boy on the couch. "You're that kid from Dalton, aren't you?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," Sebastian replied quickly, getting up and clasping his hands behind his back to stop himself from fidgeting. "Sebastian Smythe."

"The one who spent the night in Kurt's room last year," Burt added.

"What?!" Finn brought out, sounding outraged and turning to Kurt, who gave him a forbidding look. Sebastian braced himself.

Burt nodded again. "I remember you. I hope you haven't been dragging my son to any adult bars again?"

"WHAT?!" Finn squeaked, now looking at Burt.

" _Not now_ , Finn," Kurt whispered urgently. He knew his dad was still making up his mind about whether or not to throw Sebastian out and he didn't need Finn making it worse.

"No, sir," Sebastian said honestly. The only time Kurt had been to _InFlagrante_ , after all, was when he went there on his own. "I learned my lesson that time."

"Good. Well. Let's have dinner then, and maybe after that, you can tell me a bit about yourself."

Kurt let out the breath he had been holding. "We'd love to," he said happily, including himself into the equation.

*

"Carole, this is fantastic," Kurt said admiringly as he helped Carole bring out the plates. She had made them a lean dish with chicken, rice and vegetables, explaining that everything they saved on calories now, they could indulge at Christmas. It looked a lot better than her first attempts at cooking two years ago.

"I guess it does beat Burger King," Burt admitted, though he let out a little longing sigh.

"Dad, you didn't!" Kurt said reproachfully. His father shrugged.

"I hate fancy airport food, Kurt. Too expensive. And I had to wait for hours, what was I gonna do, starve?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. Sebastian watched the both of them with fascination. He would never talk to his father like that- much less presume to tell him what he was supposed to eat!

During dinner, Burt amused them all with anecdotes about Washington and then it was time for his children to shine. Finn told him all about Regionals and Kurt about NYADA, and Burt listened with interest and asked questions while rearranging the salad leaves on his plate and eying Carole's left-over chicken.

"...and so the song that Sebastian picked worked really well after all even though Rachel kept telling me I should stick to Broadway," Kurt continued, gesturing with his fork before reaching over to Sebastian's plate and deftly spearing the slices of tomato his boyfriend had pushed to the side of his plate and transferring them to his. "It made me stand out, you know? And you know how much I like that." He grinned a self-deprecatory smile at his dad and put a piece of tomato into his mouth.

Burt smiled back, though not because of what Kurt was telling him. He hadn't missed the subtle exchanges between his son and his new boyfriend; the way Sebastian immediately refilled Kurt's glass from the bottled water on the table as soon as it went empty or how Kurt ate half of Sebastian's vegetables but made him eat the other half himself with nothing more but a stern look. Sebastian didn't speak much, but he was polite enough and he was clearly making an effort to behave himself properly. Kurt was eager to include him in all of his stories about New York, and it was plain to see they really liked each other. That was what mattered most, Burt supposed. Of course, he still wanted to talk to the kid and put some fright into him about treating his child right. That was his duty as a father. But that could wait until after dessert.

*

"I think I'm gonna watch _The Deadliest Catch_ ," Burt announced, rolling his shoulders and stretching his back. "Carole, could you get me a Bud?"

"I'll get you a Bud _Lite_ , dad," Kurt said, pushing his chair back. "Too much alcohol isn't good for you."

"Now Kurt, why don't you start on the dishes?" Carole suggested. "And I'll get your dad a beer."

"But-" Kurt started, and Carole cocked her head and briefly flicked her eyes to Sebastian and his dad. Kurt bit his lip, understanding the hint. "Finn can help you," she added pointedly.

"But _mom_ ," Finn protested. Kurt sighed resignedly and took Finn's arm.

"Come on, Finn. I'll show you how to get chicken grease off the pans _without_ using half the bottle of soap like you did at our place the other time," he mumbled, his mind on his boyfriend. He hoped Sebastian wouldn't let himself get spooked by his dad.

"So," Burt started after Carole had brought him a beer and then left to unpack Burt's suitcase and put his things in the laundry, "New York, huh? What do you do there? You also go to NYADA?"

"No sir. I was accepted to NYU in summer, but my parents-" Sebastian started, hesitating. "I had to defer because...I couldn't afford tuition," he finally admitted. It was the truth again, though he had omitted the reason his dad refused to pay. Mistaking his hesitation for shame, Burt quickly reassured him.

"I understand that, believe me. We really had to scrape everything together to send Kurt to Dalton, and if I hadn't gotten into Congress I'm not sure we could have afforded NYADA either. You know, parents want what's best for their kids but sometimes it's just not possible."

Sebastian shrugged uncomfortably. He knew the money he had blown in Paris without so much as getting a degree out of it could have easily paid two or three years of NYADA for Kurt. But there was nothing he could do about that now. He looked back at Burt. "I got two jobs though. I've saved up a lot of money. I should be able to start the semester end of January."

Burt raised his eyebrows in surprise, and again, Sebastian recognized a little flash of Kurt in him. "Really? Wow. That's really impressive. Your parents must be very proud."

Sebastian thought of his dad and how, by this time, he was probably at some office Christmas party making eggnog-fuelled gay jokes with his male co-workers. He offered Burt a thin-lipped smile and nodded.

"So what do you do?"

"I work at Starbucks during the day and wait tables in the evenings," Sebastian replied. "The tips are pretty good." _Especially when I take my shirt off and let guys take bodyshots off my abs_ , he added in his mind. Somehow he didn't think Kurt's dad would appreciate the finer details of his job at _InFlagrante_. Burt was nodding and looked like he was trying to make up his mind about something.

"You know, you didn't make the best first impression on me," he started. Sebastian waited, not sure if it was better to deny or confirm what Burt was about to say. "But I think people deserve a second chance." Kurt's words echoed in Sebastian's ears. He really was his father's son, wasn't he?

Burt took a sip of his beer (a _real_ beer, since Carole had taken mercy on him - he could use one for a talk like this) and continued. "I did a lot of stupid things when I was in high school, too, you know. But then I met Kurt's mom and I knew she wasn't going to put up with me unless I stood up and took responsibility for my life. So I did. And I didn't regret it. She was the best thing that could have happened to me."

Sebastian smiled a little and thought about Kurt. It seemed like he had already been the responsible one in high school, back when all Sebastian could think about was when he could be getting drunk and laid again. Had meeting Kurt changed him like it had Burt? It had probably been a mixture of circumstances; seeing how life could be as Kurt lived it, and his parents giving him the last shove out into the world to fend for himself.

Burt studied him and was satisfied for now. There was only one more thing he needed to add. "Kurt and I have grown very close since his mom died," he said. "He tells me everything. You know? _Everything._ So trust me; I _will_ hear about it when you treat him badly. And I will find you, and make you sorry you ever moved to New York. Understood?"

Sebastian did not doubt Burt Hummel for a second. Even if a small part of his mind went into defense-mode and wanted to confront Burt with the things he knew Kurt hadn't told him (for instance, how bad he had really felt in high school when he was being bullied, or why he had broken up with Blaine), the larger part of his rationality knew it was best to simply shut up and do what this man said. "Understood, sir," he said quickly. Burt nodded.

"Go on then. You can go help Kurt and Finn in the kitchen. I know you're dying to finish up here and hang out in Kurt's room or something. Just... keep the door open, and we'll have no problems, okay? I know Kurt's technically an adult now and I can't control what goes on in New York, but under my roof, you go by my rules."

Sebastian nodded and got up. As he started towards the kitchen, Burt had already turned up the volume of the television and settled back to watch his show. He had said what he had wanted to say and Sebastian's response had not disappointed him. It would have to do for now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McKinley High, Dalton Academy and Haverbrook School for the Deaf hold a Christmas Jubilee.

Sebastian checked the clock on his phone and sighed. "I'm going in," he told Finn, announcing it like he was about to climb out of the trenches at the battle of Arras. They were standing by the door of Kurt's old room, where Kurt had last been seen 4 hours ago saying he was going to 'get ready' for the Glee Christmas Jubilee. Sebastian had thought it was pretty early then, but by now time was getting short and Finn was getting his poop face on. He was supposed to be at the school already, but Burt had asked him to drive Kurt and Sebastian because Kurt's Navigator had been sold. Now they were both waiting, trying to decide what to do. Finn had told Sebastian several times that if he wanted the job as boyfriend,  _he_ should be the one to tell Kurt to get a move on. If he wasn't a little anxious himself, Sebastian would have found it funny to see the tall teen afraid to confront his stepbrother. He knocked at the door.

"Kurt? I'm coming in..." With a last look at Finn, Sebastian opened the door.

It was a bit like he had really gone over the trench and into a war zone. Kurt's room was strewn with clothes, shoes, boots and scarves. It was like a designer bomb had exploded. Kurt's two suitcases lay opened on the bed, their contents spilling out, but there were also a lot of items Sebastian had never seen. How could one person own so many clothes? Sebastian looked around for his boyfriend and concluded there was only one place he could be, if not in the room.

"Hiding in the closet, Mr Hummel?" he asked, smiling a little as he stepped over piles of clothes. "I thought you were out and prou-- Kurt? Are you okay?" His smile faded as he saw Kurt standing there in his underwear and an undershirt, looking completely lost.

"I can't-" he whispered. "I just don't know... it has to be right." He let out a shuddering breath and rubbed his arms.

"Hey, what's going on?" Sebastian asked, stepping closer. He wasn't sure what to do. He had only seen Kurt upset like this once and they hadn't been boyfriends back then. Was something else expected of him now? Or, knowing that Kurt disliked to be touched without invitation, maybe he should wait for some kind of cue? Sebastian hesitated. "It's just the New Directions and the Warblers, Kurt," he said, hoping to reassure his boyfriend. "And you know those deaf kids too. Most of them will be in their school uniforms. You'll look better than them no matter what you wear."

Kurt sighed exasperatedly, though his breath ended with a sob. 'It's not about looking better, Bastian," he said, keeping his eyes on his wardrobe. "It's about Blaine. If he's anything like me- and he is-,"

Sebastian sucked in a breath, not sure if he liked what was coming (he was already very aware  _he_ was not like Blaine, so if this was going to be about Kurt's ex understanding the way color schemes set the mood or whatever, he was always going to come up short by comparison).

"-he's going to have this night on replay for a while. I'm going to tell him we're not getting back together and it's not what he's hoping to hear. It's not something you forget about the next day. When he told me...when he came to New York to tell me..." Kurt turned to face Sebastian. "It replayed over and over in my mind, and every time it did, I kept seeing him with that stupid checkered collar and remember the way I used to tease him saying it made him look like a waiter even though I knew it was one of his favorite shirts because Cooper sent it to him-" He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "If this is going to be a repeat performance I owe it to him to pick something decent."

Sebastian blinked. Only Kurt could think of something like this. It would actually be funny if he couldn't see how much it distressed Kurt. He bit his lip and looked around the closet. It felt like whatever he said now could make or break the evening. He pointed at a dark jacket. "What about that one? It's sort of neutral-looking, isn't it? Or that vest?"

Kurt sobbed. "God, no. I wore that jacket when I first went to Dalton. He'd remember that. It's gonna look like I wore it on purpose. And the vest- I wore that when he broke up with me over Chandler. It would look like an accusation."

"Oh," Sebastian replied, feeling he could only lose at this game. Then he frowned. “Wait- he  _broke up_ with you?” They had been broken up before? This was new.

Kurt shrugged. “Well, he sang Whitney’s break-up anthem to me in front of the whole Glee Club.” He sighed. “But he kind of apologized afterwards when he realized that Chandler texting me was like  _you_ texting  _him_ . I never asked for it to happen, but I didn’t stop it when it did.”

Sebastian bit his lip and tried to place Kurt’s story into context. He knew there was a time last year where Blaine had defriended him on facebook and stopped replying to his texts- only to add him again a few weeks later, with a rather lame apology about his phone not working properly. The communication hiatus must have been for Kurt’s sake. Since Sebastian had all but lost his interest in the boy by that time anyway, he hadn’t given it much thought. It made sense now. Knowing this made it both harder  _and_ easier to believe Blaine had cheated on Kurt. Sebastian clenched his fists. As he was slowly finding out, Kurt and Blaine had a history of hurts, and Kurt had forgiven his ex-boyfriend again and again, always finding the fault within himself, until he finally couldn’t take it anymore. And yet here he was, still trying to find a way to make it all easier for Blaine.

Sebastian wished he could go back and do his last year in school all differently- he still felt partly responsible for putting ideas into Blaine’s head. If he had known that Blaine was going to hurt Kurt like this… _No_ , he corrected himself. He  _had_ known. He had even encouraged it. Sebastian looked at his boyfriend, who was going over outfits with his eyes again, and he knew there was no point to thinking about the past. Kurt needed someone to be there for him  _now_ , and that- like Finn had said- was his job.

“Then let’s find something you got in New York,” he suggested. “Something that has no memories for Blaine. How about white shirt you got the other day, that kind of looks like it’s made out of two shirts? And you know I’m quite partial to those pants you got for the Winter Showcase…” He waggled his eyebrows and got the smallest smile from Kurt in return. He counted it as a victory. Sebastian wanted Kurt to feel comfortable with what he wore for this, even if he thought it was probably irrelevant during the talk with Blaine. Additionally, Sebastian thought with a possessive smirk, it wouldn't hurt for Kurt to show off his legs and remind Blaine of something he no longer had.

“I guess those kind of go together,” Kurt admitted, hitching up his nose and squaring his shoulders. “I think my pants are in that black suitcase.” He pointed at the bed. Sebastian nodded. 

“We kinda need to hurry, babe,” he added as he started rummaging through the clothes. “Or Finn might need a chance of shorts too.”

Kurt snorted. “They won’t start without him anyway.” He picked up the white H&M shirt from the floor. “If you see my blue Alexander McQueen scarf somewhere…” he said, brushing down the shirt to check for lint and wrinkles. Sebastian smiled. An accessorizing Kurt was a happy Kurt.

*

When they arrived, the auditorium was already filled with parents and students. Kurt noticed the large clusters of school uniforms from Dalton and Haverbrook, and wished that for once, the students of his own school would be as interested in their school choir as the other schools were. He grinned as he saw Thad and Wesley, former Warbler Council members, no longer in uniform but with the Dalton tie and an air of authority, shushing the younger students in their row.

"Do you want to go sit with them?" Kurt asked Sebastian and nodded at his former classmates. Sebastian followed his eyes and shook his head. "I want to sit with you," he replied. His boyfriend beamed like it was an unexpected pleasure. Still, it was for his own sake as well as Kurt's that he wanted to stay by his boyfriend's side. Sebastian wasn't ready to deal with the Dalton alumni yet, and to hear their success stories about Yale and Harvard. All he could tell them about  _his_ illustrious career were stories about cleaning cups and flirting with drunk guys to get better tips. Somehow, he could just imagine the resigned looks on their faces when he told them, like they had expected nothing else of him. Well, he'd show them all soon, when he started at NYU. Until then, Kurt was the only good thing he had going for him.

As they settled down in the back, Kurt heard a squeak to his left and saw Rachel wave at him frantically. She had kept them two seats a little further to the front. Nudging Sebastian, Kurt got up again and joined his roommate and Brody. Rachel was looking spectacular in the outfit Kurt had assembled for her. Brody had gone for something very understated, and Kurt smiled. It seemed he knew Rachel well- she wouldn't want anyone on her arm distracting from her shine.

"Why are you so late?" She whispered urgently. "Artie keeps textin g me like  _I_ should know where Finn is..."

Kurt shrugged apologetically. "He's here now," he assured her. Not long after he said it, the lights went out and Finn himself, looking a little winded, walked up the stage. Tina followed him, wearing a deep purple dress. Kurt smiled. Her sense of fashion had definitely improved since he first saw her, but then, so had his own. And she had done it without a make-over, which was even more impressive. A spotlight fixed Finn and he blinked into the lights before addressing the auditorium.

"Uh, welcome students of McKinley High, Dalton Academy and Haverbrook School for the Deaf, welcome family and friends," he started, and Tina stepped forward and delicately signed the same words for the deaf students. Some of them waved in return. "Last year, our McKinley glee club visited the Lima homeless shelter for Christmas. What surprised me personally was that there were so many children there. We were able to give them a Christmas dinner and some presents, but what they really need is shelter and day care, and school books for the older children. We wanted to try and raise money this year to help with that." Finn glanced at Tina and waited until she had caught up. "McKinley has tried fund raisers before, and we knew from experience that, alone, we might not raise enough money to make a difference, so we decided to ask the students from Dalton and Haverbrook to join forces with us. And it looks like that was a good move." He looked out over the filled auditorium. Then, he handed the microphone to Tina, smiling nervously. She took over. "Of course, you will get something in return for your contribution," she said, and Finn started signing. He looked very concentrated. Kurt, who had taught himself the basics of sign language after meeting the Haverbrook kids in his first year, smiled. Finn was doing well, though even his sign language sounded typically Finnesk.

"We have been working on our show for months to offer you a wonderful Christmas spectacular and we hope you'll like it so much you'll be back next year too." She smiled and nodded to show she was done. Finn looked immensely relieved that this was the end of their speech. The audience applauded and waved, and Finn left the stage, leaving Tina in the spotlight with the microphone.

_Finally,_ Kurt thought happily as he settled back in his chair and slipped his fingers under Sebastian's palm,  _a solo for Tina_ . She went into  _Twelve days of Christmas_ and absolutely killed it. After a well-earned applause, the Warblers came onto the stage and sang a Christmas carol medley acapella, proving that they hadn't lost touch with their traditional Warbler values, even if they did sing a lot of pop chart songs at school choir competitions. The Haverbrook choir contribution was very moving, but before everyone could get too melancholic, they spiced it up with a second song that was more of a spoof on hearing and disability. Kurt looked over at the Haverbrook students in the audience and saw a young woman sit in their row, smiling contently and signing animatedly with a student next to her. Clearly they had a new choir teacher who wasn't against trying a new repertoire.

After a few songs, Sebastian noticed Kurt looking at him from the side. He wasn't sure what his boyfriend expected of him, so he kept his eyes on the show, making sure Kurt knew he was paying attention to Unique's very sultry version of 'What are you are doing New Year's Eve?'. He froze as he felt Kurt shift in his seat and put his head on his shoulder. Sebastian carefully looked to the side and saw Kurt had his eyes closed and was listening to the song. Trying not to jostle him, Sebastian reached for Kurt's hand and covered it with his own. It felt... new, but not necessarily bad. He knew Kurt wasn't doing it to make a point to anyone (they were in the dark and everyone was watching the performance) so that had to mean he really just...wanted to be close. The weight of Kurt's head, the smell of his cologne and his hair conditioner, their intertwined hands; it was familiar and yet it felt very daring to sit here like this. Sebastian's former self mocked him in his head- he walked around half-naked for a living and had made out in a public fountain in front of police officers; how could  _this_ make him feel so exposed?

Kurt must have opened his eyes at some point, because as soon as the next singer came onto the stage, he straightened up and pulled his hand free. Sebastian, who had tried to focus on the song but had given up after a few seconds and had watched Kurt instead, frowned and glanced back at the stage. Right. Of course. Blaine. Another look at Kurt told Sebastian he had all of his wards firmly in place, the relaxed look on his face replaced by one of tense neutrality. Sebastian wondered if there was anything he could do to offer his support, but couldn't think of anything. He didn't dare to touch Kurt now; the past weeks he had learned to read the signs clearly- with quite a few hits and misses- and right now, Kurt needed to be left alone. Sebastian looked at the boy on the stage and hoped it would be over soon.

"This next song, I'd like to sing to a... dear friend of mine who is here tonight," Blaine announced, and Sebastian saw Kurt sink deeper into his chair from the corner of his eye. "I hope he knows that I really mean it."

Next to him on Kurt's other side, Sebastian saw Rachel offer Kurt her hand, palm up, to hold on to, but Kurt didn't move. Sebastian felt a little confirmation in that. Kurt didn't jus t not  want to touch  _him_ , he didn't want anyone right now. 

On the stage, a slow music set in, and Blaine gave the audience one of his soulful looks. Sebastian could tell the boy's eyes were trying hard to adjust to the lights, but he knew from experience that Blaine wouldn't be able to see them.

_"...Every body's laughing, the world is celebrating,_

_and everyone's so happy...except for me tonight...because..._

_I miss you, most at Christmas time,_

_and I can't get you / get you off my mind._

_Every other season comes along and I'm all right,_

_but then I miss you... most at Christmas time..."_

Kurt knew Blaine would have been planning an attack on his heart like this. He knew him too well. And yet he had underestimated how much it still hurt. For two years, they had sang Christmas songs together and now, Blaine was standing there alone appealing to him to come back to him. He tried to steel his heart, but Blaine's dulcet voice somehow found a way through, and for a moment, all he wanted was to stand up and walk to the front, like Blaine was a magician or a puppeteer drawing him in. But then he noticed movement in the corner of his eye and saw Sebastian sitting next to him, his arms and legs crossed. He looked defensive and a little sad. Kurt wondered what was going through his head right now. Was it regret for not hooking up with Blaine last year? Or was he simply missing someone else, someone he had spent Christmas with in Paris, maybe?

Kurt took a deep breath and crossed the distance between their two chairs with his hand, putting it on Sebastian's knee. It felt like reaching across the ocean. He hoped his touch conveyed everything he couldn't say at that moment. Sebastian turned to him, smiled, and bent towards his ear.

"Did you ever notice that when Blaine gets intense, he stands in front of the mike like he needs to pee?" he whispered, grinning, his pensive look forgotten.

Despite himself, Kurt snorted and looked back at Blaine. Sebastian was right. He had never noticed that before. "Don't be mean," he admonished his boyfriend all the same. "He's trying really hard."

"Is he succeeding?" Sebastian tried to sound casual, but he couldn't hide the edge in his voice. Kurt looked at him.

"No," he promised, "he's not." It had been tempting for a moment, but the moment had passed as soon as he saw Sebastian.

Sebastian felt relief washing over him. He knew their talk was still pending, but it felt like half the battle was won already.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt tells his friends about Sebastian.

After the last song, which was an amazing team effort of all three schools singing together, two students from Dalton and Haverbrook came onto the stage and invited everyone to the afterparty in Breadstixx. In front of the double doors of the restaurant, Kurt squeezed Sebastian's hand and gave him a nervous look.

"Promise me you won't pick a fight?" he asked.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. "I'm not handing out get-out-of-jail-free cards just because they're your friends, Kurt."

"I know, and you don't have to, just... it's Christmas, you know?"

Sebastian shook his head. "Weren't  _you_ the one who said they just want you to be happy, no matter what?" He shrugged. "Let's just go in and see what happens. If they're nice to me, I'll be nice to them." 

Kurt wasn't ready to give up, and threw in the puppy eyes and the pout. Sebastian glared at him for a moment and then rolled his eyes and sighed. "Okay, fine. Yes, I promise. I won't pick a fight. God, I hate it when you do that."

Kurt smiled. "No, you don't," he said smugly, and - not letting go of Sebastian's hand- pushed open the door to Breadstixx.

*

"KURT!" Mercedes yelped out and jumped up from her seat to run towards him. "Oh my god, baby I'm so glad to-" she started and broke off as she came close enough to recognize Sebastian. "...see you." She looked down on their hands and back at Kurt's face. " _No way_ ."

Kurt smiled. "Hello Mercedes. I'm glad to see you, too."

"Are you sure about this?" Kurt's long-time best friend asked sceptically. Much to his credit, Sebastian said nothing, but Kurt could feel him breathe in deeply.

" _You're_ the one who told me I shouldn't let him go," he reminded her gently, and her jaw dropped.

"Sebastian's the club guy?" she asked incredulously. Kurt nodded.

Sebastian smirked. "Rachel refers to me as 'breakfast guy'," he added. "I'm hoping that if I introduce myself to enough people here, I'll find someone who knows me by 'steamy sex guy'. I'm sure Kurt must have told  _someone_ the good bits."

Despite herself, Mercedes laughed. "Well, the bits Kurt told me were steamy enough, Sebastian. I'm glad you've been looking out for my boo in New York."

Sebastian smiled. "We've been looking after each other," he said. Kurt squeezed his hand softly.

Mercedes beamed at Kurt and looped her arm around Kurt's elbow on his free side, hugging close to him. "Let's go say hi to the others," she suggested. "Artie isn't here yet and Puck disappeared in the back with two girls from Haverbrook, but the rest of the old gang is all here." She glanced over her shoulder and made an effort to include Sebastian in her smile.

Kurt nodded and followed her lead. He was happy that Mercedes accepted Sebastian so easily. He had seen the look on her face though, and knew it said he had a lot of explaining to do as soon as she got him alone. He looked forward to catching up with her.

Sebastian let go of his hand for now, feeling a little stupid being dragged behind as a third wheel. Still, he was kind of pleased too. Even if Kurt hadn't told his friends about him by name, he clearly had been talking about him. He followed Kurt and Mercedes to the table where a group of McKinley students and former Glee Clubbers sat. Finn, Blaine and some of the new kids were still missing, but most of Kurt's senior year was there.

Kurt was greeted like a prodigal best friend returned, and Sebastian couldn't help but wonder if anyone would welcome him like that at the Dalton table. Or anywhere else, for that matter. It seemed unlikely. He narrowed his eyes as he timed Kurt's hug with the tall blonde stripper. Just as he was about to interfere because it was taking too long, someone else at the table noticed him.

"What do you want, rich boy? The blazer-gays are all over there." Santana nodded at the other side of the room where a group of Warblers stood grouped together.

Kurt let go of Sam, hoping he didn't look  _too_ flushed (as they hugged, he couldn't help but notice Sam had been working out. A lot.) and turned to face Santana. "Actually, Santana,  _this_ blazer-gay belongs to me," he said pleasantly, but with a sharp undertone that warned her not to push it. He let go of Mercedes' arm and walked to Sebastian's side. "It's time you all knew. Sebastian's my new boyfriend."

Santana snorted. "Yeah, right. And I'm engaged to Mitt Romney."

Brittany gasped. "I thought _we_ were dating," she said sadly, and Santana had to quickly shush her and explain sarcasm again.

"He's not kidding, you guys," Mercedes explained.

There was a brief moment of silence among the Gleeks during which they all gaped at Kurt. Sam was the first to speak.

"Well, why not," he said, smiling a crooked smile at the two boys. "I dig the whole 'frenemy' thing, it's like...Batman and Catwoman or... Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler." He bit his lip and quickly added: "Sorry Kurt, I don't know any gay superhero examples." Kurt gave him a fond smile. He had missed Sam's easy-going southern nature and film references.

"I'm happy for you, Kurt. You look great. You look happy," Quinn added, smiling. If anyone knew that people could change from who they once were in high school, it was her.

"I am," Kurt agreed. He looked at his old friends and was relieved to see no one but Santana was giving Sebastian the evil eye. Tina was quietly explaining some of the finer details to Wade, who occasionally looked over at Sebastian with large eyes. Kurt was sure he heard the words 'blackmail' and 'underboob'.

*

As Blaine entered Breadstixx and put his jacket away in the wardrobe, he passed Kitty and Marley who were waiting in line for the girls' bathroom. He didn't mean to eavesdrop on them, but as he was almost there, he heard his name.

"I think it's a step-up from Blaine. This guy is super hot, and he's taller. That's important," Kitty said, twirling her hair around her finger and tapping her foot impatiently.

"Hmm," Marley replied, only half convinced. She looked down the line towards the bathroom. "Kurt always seemed very happy with Blaine too, though. I wonder why they split up."

Kitty tsked. " _Hello_ ? Don't you ever read Stalker Boy Israel's blog? Kurt left him to go to NYADA with Rachel. Obviously the boys are hotter there. Maybe I should go there at spring break."

Blaine swallowed. The girls continued talking but he was no longer listening. Kurt was here with someone else? He felt his heart sink. Then everything had been for nothing. His song, his preparations. He had hoped tonight was the night he would finally get the chance to do everything right- and now it was too late? He felt sick. Part of him wanted to turn around and head straight back to the auditorium, or maybe simply outside, home, anywhere but Breadstixx. But some strange force carried his feet to the double doors anyway. He wanted to see this other boy, who had stolen Kurt from him--  _no_ , he corrected himself,  _not stolen...simply filled a void. A void I put there._ He stepped inside and looked around. He spotted Kurt immediately. He looked heartbreakingly beautiful, and so grown up. He was wearing all new clothes and talking to a tall, dark haired man with broad shoulders and an easy smile. The guy had his hand on Kurt's arm and was telling him something with enthusiasm. Blaine held his breath. He was about to turn around and leave when Rachel accosted him. He quickly put on a show smile and greeted her.

"Rachel, it's so good to see you," he said, functioning on auto-pilot.

"Oh Blaine, please, it's okay," she said gravely. "I know this isn't easy for you. You can be honest with me."

"You knew?" he asked, dropping all pretense. Rachel winced.

"Kurt made me promise not to tell anyone until he was ready to bring him here himself. I'm so sorry, Blaine."

Blaine shrugged. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. "I'm gonna... I'm gonna go," he said, tearing his eyes away from his ex-boyfriend.

"Oh please stay, Blaine. I know Kurt wants to talk to you, he told me so himself. He really didn't mean to hurt you with this-" She broke off when Blaine shook his head.

"I deserve it," he said hoarsely. "But I can't stay here. I'll...be in touch. It was good to see you again, Rachel. Have a nice Christmas. I'm sorry, I mean Hanukkah."

Rachel watched helplessly as he made his way through the crowd of people towards the exit. So much for her plan of singing with him! She looked over at Kurt. Should she warn him that Blaine was about to leave?

*

Blaine stepped into the fresh air, his jacket still hanging open. He tore at his bow tie, loosening it. The cold immediately bit into his face and slammed into his chest, but he didn't care. He still felt stifled. He heard voices coming from the parking lot, and saw a few familiar faces. A tall blonde boy and a stockier, dark-haired boy in Dalton blazers stood talking to a lanky figure sitting on the hood of a car and taking a swig from a small hip flask. As he concentrated, Blaine could hear snatches of their conversation.

"So, after I figured out he was a physiotherapist, all I had to do was show up at his skiing lodge and fake a dislocated shoulder-" the boy on the hood of the car said, and the blonde boy shook his head.

"You can't  _fake_ a dislocated shoulder, Sebastian. Either it's dislocated or it's not." He grabbed the flask from the other boy and took a large swig too.

"I know that," Sebastian replied, and Blaine could practically hear him smirk, "but by that time I had my shirt off and he had his hands on me..."

Jeff whistled between his teeth.

"Did any of that really happen?" Nick asked sceptically.

"Hey, what happens in Vermont stays in Vermont," Sebastian said smugly. His skiing trip wasn't exactly recent brag-material, but it was still a good story.

Blaine made up his mind. He pushed his hands deeply inside his pockets and walked up to them. "Hey guys. Mind if I join you?" He nodded at Sebastian. "Long time to see."

"Yeah," Sebastian said warily, sliding off the car. "How's it going, Blaine?"

Blaine shrugged. At that moment, Trent, the Warbler's third Council member, poked his head out the door and yelled: "Niff! Inside!"

Jeff smirked. "That's us. Warbler business. Talk to you later, Blaine." He clapped the boy on the shoulder. Nick offered him a smile.

Blaine watched them go as he tried to calm the swirling feeling inside his stomach. He could do this. He needed to do this.

"Can I have some of that?" he asked, nodding at the flask that had been passed around between them.

"Uh, sure," Sebastian said, frowning a little. Why hadn't the boy cursed him yet, or tried to punch him? Was this normal behavior for someone who just found out he had been replaced by one of his former friends? The answer was in Blaine's eyes as he took the bottle from him. They were stormy and determined - but not for the reason Sebastian expected.

"Does last year's offer still stand?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine makes Sebastian an offer.

"He left?" Kurt repeated incredulously, staring at Rachel. "You let him leave?"

"What was I supposed to do? He was really upset, Kurt, I didn't know-"

"I have to go find him," Kurt interrupted her. He sent an apologetic look to the son of his father's long-term auto shop colleague; graduated from McKinley two years ago and recently moved back to Lima after dropping out of some college out of state, he had been grilling Kurt about his chances to buy a part of Hummel's Tires & Lube - but as much as Kurt liked that idea (it would take a lot of stress off his father's mind to know someone was interested in keeping the shop open), Blaine was more important right now. Without another thought, he headed outside.

He didn't have to look far. Blaine was standing at the parking lot with Sebastian. This was bad. Kurt braced himself for their argument and walked up to them.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Blaine," he heard his boyfriend say.

"Why not?" Blaine asked. "I know you wanted me. Well, here I am. To do with whatever you want. No strings attached. We could do it right here, in your car." Kurt recognized the desperation in Blaine's voice.

"This is not my car. And I don't...do that kind of stuff anymore, Blaine," Sebastian said quietly. He had seen Kurt over Blaine's shoulder and gave him a worried look. He shook his head a little, warning him not to come too close.

"Why not?" Blaine asked again, sounding petulant. "Why did guys only want me while I was with Kurt?"

"Blaine, I have a boyfriend now," Sebastian tried.

Blaine scoffed. "Well, that doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you," he said loudly, the alcohol taking its effect. "Isn't that what you told me?"

"That's what I said, yes. Look, I'm sorry I tried to come between you two. I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay," Blaine said, stepping closer. "I'm not with Kurt now."

"But  _he_ is," Kurt said, raising his voice. Blaine froze and then slowly turned around.

"Kurt?"

"Blaine, I came here tonight to tell you I am with someone else now," Kurt started, and Blaine shook his head.

"I already know that, Kurt," he said sadly. "I saw-"

"And that someone is Sebastian," Kurt cut him off ruthlessly. His practiced speech was no use for this. He had to be blunt.

" _What_ ?" Blaine said dully. He looked back at Sebastian. 

The other boy shrugged helplessly. He had tried to tell Blaine, but he just didn't want to listen. Sebastian was about to apologize when Blaine spoke again. 

"Is this your idea of a joke?" he asked Kurt. "I cheat on you, and to get back at me, you pick the  _one_ guy worse than a random stranger?"

" _Hey._ .." Sebastian started, feeling offended, but Blaine wasn't finished. 

"We waited so long until we were ready, Kurt, until we could share something special together. And now you just throw yourself away like this, on a guy who doesn't care?"

"Wasn't that what  _you_ were about to do?" Kurt replied. His voice was trembling with anger and repressed tears. "No, wait- you already did that."

Blaine winced. "Kurt, please. Let's not do this. I got the message, okay? I made a mistake and to punish me, you hooked up with him. Please, just...stop this right now. You know Sebastian only wants one thing. You told me so yourself. That's all he's good for. You deserve better."

"Don't talk about him like that," Kurt said. His voice was steady now and he stepped closer, ignoring Sebastian's attempt to step in front of him to shield him from Blaine. "Sebastian is not perfect. But neither am I. As for what he wants... he wants  _me_ . And I want him. I didn't  _hook up_ with him to spite you." Kurt's lips spat out the words with bitterness. "He was there for me when I was in pain, he protected me, and he made me feel human again after you had ripped out my heart."

"Kurt... I'm sorry," Blaine whispered defeatedly.

"So am I," Kurt replied. "I'm sorry if I made you feel neglected or unloved. But I'm also sorry you didn't have the patience to wait for me. I'm sorry you thought I could possibly love you again after what you did." He paused and looked at Sebastian over Blaine's shoulder. "I'm  _not_ sorry for being with Sebastian."

Sebastian watched the scene unfold in front of him, feeling more and more helpless as Blaine reminded Kurt of exactly what he was- good for nothing. Kurt's ex-boyfriend was right. He didn't deserve Kurt. But he was trying so hard to change that! Before he could tell Kurt so (or prove it to him by decking Blaine one for being an asshole- he couldn't believe the guy actually solicited sex with him right before claiming he was no good), Kurt spoke up, and Sebastian was dumbstruck. So was Blaine. The three of them stood in silence for a moment, and then Kurt spoke up again.

"I'm cold. I'm gonna go back inside. Sebastian, are you coming?"

Sebastian blinked and realized for the first time that Kurt was standing there in just his shirt. He quickly shrugged out of his blazer and walked to his boyfriend, draping it over his shoulders. Kurt hugged the Dalton jacket around himself, feeling comforted by the lingering warmth of Sebastian's body. He gave Blaine one last look and turned around. Sebastian followed him, keeping an eye on Blaine as they walked back in case the boy came running after them. He didn't.

*

They went back into the restaurant. Warmth enveloped them and Kurt shivered. Sebastian put his arm around him and rubbed his back through the jacket.

"Are you okay?" he asked carefully. "I guess that's not how you imagined it to go."

Kurt scoffed. "I can't believe he tried to make a move on you."

"Well, I am pretty irresistible," Sebastian joked, and then quickly schooled his face into a serious expression again. Kurt clearly wasn't amused.

"He promised me he'd never do that again. That all he wanted was me." He looked up at Sebastian. "I guess I saw for myself now that that isn't true."

"I'm sorry," Sebastian offered. "For the record, I wasn't flirting with him. ...I mean, I don't think I was. Not intentionally-" He broke off when Kurt shook his head.

"It's not your fault. You were just there. I think-" He took a deep breath and let it out before continuing. "I think he feels like nothing matters anymore. Now that he's done it before..."

Sebastian nodded. It sounded a lot like something he used to do. Once you started down that path, once or twice more wasn't going to change anything. "I guess he needs help," he said.

"Yes," Kurt agreed. "But I can't be the one. I'd only make it worse." He looked towards the double doors. "I'll ask Finn and Sam to keep an eye on him. Especially Sam. I think they got rather close when they ran for senior class president." He paused and looked at Sebastian. His boyfriend was looking at him with a strange smile. "What?"

"You're amazing, did you know that?" Sebastian said. "you're still trying to help Blaine after everything he's done. And the way you stood up for me back there, and to all your friends – no one's ever done that for me before." Before Kurt could brush off the compliment, he quietly added: "Kurt, I think...huh. I think I'm in love with you."

Kurt smiled and rolled his eyes. "Bastian... you're only realizing this now?"

–

About an hour later, after an impromptu exWarbler-exMcKinley karaoke challenge during which Kurt and Sebastian partnered up against Rachel and Thad, the after party was officially rocking. As Nick and Trent were giving their best rendition of 'Take me for what I am', complete with little dance moves and sassy hand gestures, Kurt took the chance to whisper something in Sebastian's ear.

"I think Finn will be here for a while."

Sebastian looked over at the tall teen. He was sitting at a table with Sam and Artie and they seemed to be going over something on Finn's mobile phone. A set list, maybe. Or youporn. He shrugged. "So?" They had all taken Finn's car, so they'd have to wait until he was ready to go home.

"So...I think we should take a cab to my house..." Kurt whispered. "You know I promised my dad I would stay in Finn's room while you're at our house. But my dad's not there tonight..."

Sebastian blinked and connected the dots. "Okay," he agreed quickly. "I'll get your jacket while you say goodbye?" Suddenly, there was no time to lose.

"Already done," Kurt replied, and he gave Sebastian a look that showed him he was just as eager to leave as Sebastian was.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian take their relationship to the next level.

Kurt lead Sebastian backwards into his room while they kissed, their hands undressing each other and uncovering more and more skin for their lips. As Kurt let up to breathe, Sebastian took the chance to step out of his slacks and then started unbuttoning Kurt's tight jeans. He knew they were finally about to finish what they had started that night after  _InFlagrante._ So far, in New York, they had taken it slow discovering each other; touching, kissing, and taking their time finding out what the other liked. It was a definite first for Sebastian, who was used to taking what he wanted as fast and efficiently as he could. He was surprised all of that slow stuff didn't frustrate him nearly as much as he expected. In fact, it was rather nice. Right now, however, it felt like they were in familiar territory. Neither of them would be satisfied with taking it slow tonight - even if they weren't pressed for time.

From the few remarks Kurt had made about his sexual relationship with Blaine, Sebastian had gathered that Kurt felt safer taking the lead, so after he finished freeing Kurt from his trousers, he turned around and braced his hands against the wall, looking over his shoulder at his lover. He liked sex both ways- or rather,  _all_ ways and always- and didn't mind breaking the ice like this.

Kurt recognized the invitation for what it was and felt his mouth go dry. He had never done it like that, standing up, unhidden by bed covers. It felt...a little dirty, but very hot. His groin tightened with need. Still, the romantic inside of him couldn't go through with it, not for their first time, and definitely not after what Sebastian had told him about his first experience. Kurt would be too afraid he'd hurt him without noticing. He shook his head and embraced his boyfriend, coaxing him to turn back around.

"Then tell me what you want," Sebastian said, his voice clear of accusations or taunts.

"I want to see your face," Kurt replied, kissed him, and guided him towards the bed. Maybe if he spent enough time with Sebastian, his boyfriend would help him be a little more daring and open up to all of those things, push his borders - but until then, Kurt hoped it would be enough to give him the things he already knew and felt comfortable with.

Sebastian hit the bed with the back of his knees and he buckled backwards, pulling Kurt with him. Their foreheads bumped together as they landed on the mattress and Sebastian laughed, and the tension between them broke.

"Don't knock me out or I'll be no good," he warned his boyfriend. Kurt grinned.

"I'm sure you would be," he said with a wicked smile, "but I think I like it even better when you participate."

Sebastian laughed again. If this was anyone else, Sebastian would have flipped them over right there to show them his  _participation_ , but he knew he couldn't do that to Kurt. Moves like that still startled him, and the last thing Sebastian wanted was to give him a panic attack. Instead, he pushed up against Kurt to encourage him. Kurt took the hint and pushed back, slotting their erections together between their hips and creating friction. Sebastian let his head fall back in the pillows. Until he got together with Kurt, he had rarely made out in a bed, but he was beginning to appreciate the soft and welcoming clean sheets as apposed to bathroom stalls and backseats. He felt Kurt hook his fingers under the elastic of his underwear and obligingly lifted his hips to help Kurt pull off his briefs. The weight on the mattress shifted and Sebastian watched Kurt from lidded eyes as he took a foil packet and a small squeeze bottle from his bedside cabinet. He smiled and spread his thighs, making room for Kurt between them.

Kurt was a little surprised Sebastian really seemed to want him like this -somehow, in his secret fantasies, he had always imagined Sebastian making love to  _him_ ; a thought that both excited and scared him a little. He had tried that with Blaine, but they had both been uncomfortable with it and it had remained a single attempt. Kurt had been too assertive all of his life to feel at ease with giving away control like that. He knew many people expected him to bottom because of his voice and the way he dressed- it had been the basis of many jokes at school- but sometimes, cliches like that didn't transfer to the bedroom. 

He was pulled back from his thoughts by the sight of Sebastian touching himself. He was watching Kurt and palming himself lazily. As he noticed that Kurt was paying attention again, he smiled and reached out to touch him too, stroking him with his other hand. Kurt sighed longingly. Sebastian looked so sexy doing this. There was nothing passive about him, and that though made Kurt feel less guilty. He handed Sebastian the condom and flipped the cap off the bottle of lube. He squeezed some of the gel on his fingers, spilling a little on his boyfriend's leg as Sebastian's experienced hands rolled the condom over him. Sebastian grinned and wiped it off with his hand, transferring it to the condom to help the slide of the latex. It made Kurt feel less clumsy and he returned the smile. There were no mistakes here, and no one to see but them. He reached between Sebastian's legs, carefully touching him with gelled fingers, and gasped as he managed to slide a finger into him easily. Sebastian pushed against his hand encouragingly. Kurt continued, marveling at the way Sebastian's body accepted him. He was used to taking a lot more time to get to that point with Blaine. Forcing all comparisons and thoughts of his ex-boyfriend from his mind, Kurt concentrated on the way Sebastian's breathing sped up as he moved his fingers. His boyfriend was not hiding his pleasure and his sighs and moans were so arousing Kurt could hardly take it anymore. He bit his lip hard to stop from getting too excited. It seemed Sebastian was feeling the same way, as he took hold of Kurt's wrist and gently pulled him away before guiding Kurt's erection to his entrance. Kurt pushed inside, his breath catching at the friction and the snug sliding pressure he had missed for so long. Sebastian narrowed his eyes, shifting a little to accommodate him, and canted his hips to take him in deeper. He knew what he wanted and all Kurt had to do was give it to him. They started moving together and Sebastian struggled to keep eye contact with his lover. He knew it was what Kurt wanted, but it felt too private, too intimate. He longed to close his eyes and give himself over to his body. Trying to find some middle way, he kissed Kurt instead, showing him with his lips that he was okay. Kurt responded eagerly, and it turned out to be a good means of non-verbal communication. As the intensity of their kiss quickened, so did their hips, until Kurt had to pull away to breathe and let out a gasp. He could feel Sebastian tightening underneath him like a spring coiling into itself and he reached between their bodies, giving him a last helping hand to push him over the edge.

Sebastian cursed loudly as his body convulsed in little shocks through his orgasm. His body was unable to decide what to do. It had him pulling away from Kurt's hand and pressing down against Kurt's arousal, impaling himself before lifting his hips again to push back into the slick channel of Kurt's hand. It was exquisite torture. Kurt rode it out with him, watching Sebastian's face with fascination. He stilled his hips and stopped stroking him as Sebastian began shying away from his touch, and he leaned in to kiss him again, resting his elbows next to Sebastian's chest to keep his weight off of him. He waited for a while, listening to his boyfriend's breathing, and then rolled his hips experimentally, not sure if it was too soon for Sebastian's overstimulated senses. Sebastian breathed in on a hiss but pushed back all the same, signaling him to go on. It didn't take long for Kurt to come. He keened highly as he did, letting go of his inhibitions, and finally collapsed on Sebastian's chest. He chuckled a little as he thought about what had just happened.

"I'm not usually this loud," he mumbled against Sebastian's skin.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Sebastian said drily.

"Yeah," Kurt agreed. He didn't move for a while, content to listen to their hammering heartbeats slowing down, until the sweat on his body started cooling and he shivered. "I guess I should take a shower and move to Finn's room," he suggested reluctantly.

Sebastian hummed and shifted a little. Kurt took the hint and reached between them to secure the condom as he pulled away. Sebastian wasn't sure if he should say something now. What was the protocol? Did you compliment each other on a job well done? Or was this the part where you swore undying love?

"Kurt, I-" he started, but stopped as he heard a car door slam closed outside. "Go," he urged his boyfriend. If Finn stumbled in on them like this, any chance of staying over at the Hummels again was over for Sebastian. Kurt nodded and quickly gathered some clothes off the floor before disappearing out of the room.

Sebastian looked up at the ceiling and let out a long breath. That had been pretty amazing. And unlike most of his hookups, which were limited to one time only, they'd get to do that again whenever they wanted. He smiled and reached for his phone.

**01:45 am StSebastian to KurtH. :** Sleep well, Kurt.

**01:45 am StSebastian to KurtH. :** P.S. I like it when you're loud.

He grinned and watched the display. A message soon popped up.

**01:46 am KurtH. to StSebastian :** Goodnight Sebastian. 

**01:47 am KurtH. to StSebastian :** And too bad. I doubt Rachel or your neighbors will like it. When we get back to NY we'll need to be quiet.

**01:47 am StSebastian to KurtH. :** There's always the Starbucks store room ;-)

**01:48 am KurtH. to StSebastian :** I'm gonna pretend you didn't just write that. Go to sleep, Bas.

Sebastian chuckled and put his phone away. He cold just imagine the blush on his boyfriend's face right now, and it was a lovely image to fall asleep to.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt goes to see Sebastian and he's not alone.

It was a few days after Christmas, and Kurt and Sebastian were back in New York. Sebastian had volunteered to work between the holidays because of the extra wages, and since the Vogue office had closed already, Kurt was using his free time to go supply shopping for NYADA. On his way back to the loft, he decided to stop by Starbucks. He'd see Sebastian later anyway, but he couldn't wait until dinner.

Kurt smiled as he entered Starbucks. By now, it felt a lot like the Lima Bean at home. He knew most of the regular people there and he was on first name basis with the staff - most importantly, his boyfriend worked there. He walked up to the counter and greeted the man polishing the espresso machine.

"Hey Francis, how are you? How's your wife?"

The man beamed from ear to ear. "Kurt! What a surprise. Melanie's fine. You know what, we know the baby's gender now- it's gonna be a girl! Can you imagine that? A little daughter... Mel is going crazy decorating everything in pink..."

Kurt smiled. Sebastian's colleague was so enthusiastic about his upcoming fatherhood; it was adorable. He knew Sebastian wasn't very fond of the topic but he didn't mind. It clearly made Francis happy to be able to talk about it. He looked around the almost empty shop.

"Is Sebastian in the back?"

Francis frowned. "Sebastian called in sick this morning. I thought you were here to get him a coffee or something..."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Really? Did he say what's wrong?"

Francis shrugged. "He didn't, but he sounded pretty out of it. Maybe he's got the flu. Tell him to stay away until he's no longer infectious, okay? I don't want to catch it and give it Mel and the baby... that stuff is dangerous and I have to look after my family."

Kurt nodded absentmindedly. They had texted yesterday and Sebastian had agreed to come to dinner today- it was Thursday after all. Why hadn't he called to cancel, if he was sick? Kurt suddenly worried. What if he was so sick he passed out before he could call? Or maybe he was stuck in the bathroom with a stomach bug or food poisoning... it would be no wonder with his diet of old bagels! Kurt tried to make him eat vegetables at least once a week, but that wasn't enough to maintain a healthy immune system... Kurt quickly said goodbye to Francis and made his way to Sebastian's flat, stopping on the way at the drugstore to pick up a few things against the cold and the flu just in case. He tried calling his boyfriend a few times, but there was no answer, which worried him even more. By the time he got to the flat, Kurt was close to panic. He knocked on the door loudly.

"Sebastian? Sebastian, can you hear me? Bas, it's me, Kurt!"

He strained to hear something on the other side of the door and finally heard footsteps. Sebastian opened the door, looking pale and tired. His eyes were bloodshot. "Hey, Kurt," he said hoarsely, running a hand through his hair. Kurt noticed he had several faded ink stains on the back of his hand - club tokens.  _InFlagrante_ used them too to mark her patrons when they wanted to go outside for a smoke and then come back without paying a second entrance fee. He stepped inside and wrinkled his nose. The place smelled of cigarette smoke and alcohol.

"What's going on?" Kurt asked, looking around. "Francis said you were sick. I went to the drugstore for you." He held up the paper bag.

"Well I do feel pretty sick," Sebastian said, offering him a crooked smile. He spoke quietly as if his own voice hurt his ears.

"You're hung over," Kurt concluded. "Where were you last night?"

Sebastian rubbed his hand over his face as if he was having trouble remembering. When he looked at Kurt again and was about to say something, a man came from the bathroom with wet hair and a towel around his waist. Kurt's expression hardened. He felt sick himself, now. He turned back to Sebastian and raised his eyebrow, unable to speak.

Kurt's quiet indignation seemed to jolt Sebastian into action. "Kurt," he said, "this is Marc Martìn, a friend of mine from Paris. He came over because he wants to celebrate the New Year on Times' Square and he asked if he could crash here."

" _This is Kurt?_ " Marc said in French, his voice smooth and low as he gave Kurt an appreciative once over. " _You were right, he is very pretty._ "

Something about the way he said it made Kurt feel like it wasn't a compliment. "Can we talk outside?" he managed to bring out. He didn't know if Sebastian's friend spoke English, but even if he didn't, Kurt didn't want to be in the same room with him right now.

"Sure," Sebastian answered quietly. With as much dignity as he could muster, Kurt passed the half-naked man who appeared to still be checking him out, and he stepped outside. He could hear Sebastian tell his friend to get dressed and then his boyfriend was outside too, pulling the door closed behind him.

"Kurt, it's not what it looks like," Sebastian started.

"Good," Kurt replied, crossing his arms over his chest. As Sebastian came closer, he took a step back. "Because it looks like one of your French fuckbuddies showed up for a booty call, and I just interrupted you before you could get to round two."

"No, that's not-" Sebastian broke off and took a steadying breath. For a moment, Kurt thought his boyfriend might be sick, but it passed and he was able to continue. "I didn't know Marc was gonna come over. I haven't spoken to him in months. He just showed up. What was I gonna do?"

"Well, you  _could_ have told him it was inconvenient because you had  _work_ in the morning, and informed him of the fact that sex was out of the question because you have a boyfriend."

Sebastian's eyes flashed. "I  _didn't_ have sex with him!" he said angrily, and winced as the sound of his own voice hurt his head. "And I  _did_ tell him about you."

Kurt swallowed hard, feeling slightly mollified but not ready to let this drop yet. "Yeah, so I heard. I'm  _pretty._ " He spat out the word like the insult it was to him; the one he had had to hear from his bullies all through high school; he was  _pretty_ like a  _girl_ , he loved boys like a girl, and they'd make him scream like a girl. 'Pretty' was not an adjective any guy wanted to be associated with.

"I didn't say it like that," Sebastian said, his anger deflating. "God, Kurt, I don't remember exactly what I said but I didn't mean anything by it. I just told him about you."

Kurt chewed his lip. He wanted to believe Sebastian so much. He wasn't ready to give up on him like on Blaine, didn't want to believe that this had happened to him  _again_ \- that again, someone had chosen easy no-strings-attached sex over his love. But Sebastian had his whole history against him and it just made it so much harder.

"If you don't even remember what you said, how can you be sure you didn't sleep with him?" he asked, hating how vulnerable he sounded.

"I'm sure," Sebastian said firmly. "Kurt, we didn't have sex, I swear. He crashed on my bed with his clothes on and I spent most of this morning in the bathroom puking my guts out."

"Why didn't you call me?" Kurt asked. Sebastian shrugged uncomfortably.

"I hoped I'd be okay until tonight so we could have dinner." _And so you wouldn't have to find out I skipped work to get drunk_ , Sebasian added in his mind. He knew Kurt wouldn't have approved, and he had kind of hoped to keep it from him.

"So...you didn't forget about dinner?"  _About me?_ Kurt's unspoken question hung in the air between them.

Sebastian shook his head before realizing that was a bad idea. He groaned quietly and grabbed his stomach. "Forgot about the time, I guess. But not about dinner. It's...our thing, right?"

Kurt smiled softly. "Yes. It's our thing." He stepped a little closer and brushed Sebastian's hair off his damp forehead. "If anyone from work saw you last night you could have lost your job," he scolded him gently, but his heart wasn't in it. He was too happy that it really hadn't been what it looked like. He pushed away the doubts in his mind that quietly nagged at him; if Sebastian had drunk a little less, enough to get drunk but not to get sick, would he have crashed on the bed  _with_ Marc? He knew he had to give his boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, but it was hard. Marc was hot, he was an old friend, and he was a piece of Sebastian's past; that time in Paris he knew Sebastian was sometimes homesick for.

"I know, it was pretty stupid. But Marc can be very persuasive," Sebastian admitted.

Not something that eased Kurt's mind.

"So is he really... did you ever..." He broke off, not sure if he was allowed to ask. Kurt decided to rephrase. "When you stayed over at my house last year, you broke up with someone on the phone. In French. Was that... him?" He lowered his hand when he realized he was still touching Sebastian as if he wanted to leave his fingerprints all over him.

Sebastian frowned. He didn't think Kurt would still remember that. "We didn't break up. Marc and I were never a couple in that sense," he replied, treading carefully. "Not like you and me."

Kurt was pretty sure he could guess what Sebastian was trying to say, but he wanted to hear it anyway. "So in what sense  _were_ you a couple then?"

Sebastian sighed. "Can't you just leave it alone, Kurt? This is not something you want to hear."

Kurt raised his chin. "No, I cannot leave it alone. I want to know. And if he's gonna stay at your place, I think I deserve to know."

Sebastian squared his shoulders, mirroring Kurt's defensive stance. "Fine. Yes, Marc and I used to fuck. Not all the time, and not exclusively. I didn't break up with him when I left because there was nothing between us to break up. It was just something we did when we were bored and there was no one else around. When he called, he didn't even know I was already back in the US." He braced himself for Kurt's moral judgment.

Kurt swallowed. "Okay," he said finally. "If you can promise me it's over-"

"It's over," Sebastian replied immediately. He was surprised that Kurt didn't seem to be angry. He remembered the condition Kurt had set at the start of their relationship and added: "I don't need anyone on stand-by like that anymore. I don't get bored these days. I won't get bored of  _you_ . You do remember what I told you at Breadstixx, don't you?"

Kurt nodded. He could feel his defenses melting away. He wanted to believe Sebastian so badly. "So he's staying at your place... and coming to celebrate New Year's Eve with us?" he asked, trying to assess the situation.

"It's just two days...and you and Rachel wanted to go to Times' Square anyway, right? I figured he could just tag along..." Sebastian hesitated. "Is that okay?"

Kurt knew it was childish to yell  _NO_ even if he really felt like it. He wondered how Sebastian would feel if  _he_ had Blaine staying over in an apartment that had only one bed. But if he never gave Sebastian a chance to prove himself, he would always feel like this whenever one of Sebastian's old flames showed up. And given Sebastian's past, that could be  _a lot_ of guys. "I guess so," he said after some deliberation. He studied Sebastian. "You look terrible. Have you eaten anything today?"

Sebastian shook his head again, but more carefully this time. Kurt made up his mind.

"I'll make you some soup."

Sebastian smiled a little, his eyes lighting up like it was more than he had dared hope for. "You're not angry with me?" he asked.

Kurt sighed. "No. As long as Marc keeps his hands and the rest of him to himself, I guess I'm not. But you shouldn't risk your job like that again, Bas. You need that money for NYU." He silently wondered how much money they had blown in the clubs last night. Would it set him back much? Without realizing it, he had gotten even closer. As he angled his head for a kiss, reality kicked in. He wrinkled his nose. "You need a shower. And brush your teeth," he commanded. "When you're ready, I'll feed you." Kurt pressed the paper bag into his boyfriend's hands. "Asprins. Go."

Sebastian smiled and pressed a sweaty kiss against the side of Kurt's neck anyway before reaching behind him to open the door. _Calamity avoided_ , he thought happily. _I even still get dinner._


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year's Eve with Kurt, Sebastian, Marc & Rachel.

"Kurt, can I talk to you for a second?" Rachel whispered urgently, pulling at her friend's sleeve. It was about an hour before midnight and they were sitting at a bar not far from Times' Square. Marc and Sebastian had just gone to get them a new round of drinks. Kurt nodded.

"You know I have two gay dads and they sometimes have friends over, so I have been exposed to more age- and gender inappropriate jokes than most of my female peers," she started, and Kurt shrugged uncomfortably, not sure where this was heading. "But I have to tell you, Marc really takes the cake. If I have to listen to one more of his raunchy stories or watch him 'grade' every guy who walks by here, I'm going to scream!"

Kurt sighed. "I know. Me too." Rachel was right. Marc had been very generous with the details about his sex life- And Rachel only understood half of it. The worst of his remarks were in French, mumbled into Sebastian's ear but always loud enough for Kurt to hear too. The worst thing was: he wasn't the only one acting that way. Sebastian was behaving very strangely too. It was like watching a whole different person. He drank more, was louder than usual, and seemed to have a whole different laugh that he reserved for Marc alone. It made Kurt uneasy. It wasn't a new side of Sebastian he was seeing- it was an old side. He knew he was seeing Sebastian like he had been in Paris...and he didn't like it. Kurt looked over at the bar and saw the guys coming back with their drinks. As they came close enough to be heard, he sighed. They were  _still_ playing their 'who would you rather fuck?' question game. Didn't that ever get old?

"Come on, answer me! Justin Bieber or Bruno Mars," Sebastian demanded, already laughing.

Marc scoffed. "Easy. I don't fuck girls. Bruno Mars," he replied in his thick French accent, and they both laughed and clinked their glasses together. Marc's eye fell on Kurt. "'ere's one for you, Kurt. Sebastian ass or my-"

"Excuse me, I need to use the men's room," Kurt cut him off, and rose from his seat. He was sick of Marc's innuendos. He knew it was unfair to leave Rachel alone with them but he really needed a break. Unfortunately, he wasn't about to get one. As he went down the stairs to the bathrooms, he heard someone behind him. He turned and saw it was Marc. He sighed and was about to turn his back on him when the other boy spoke up.

"Kurt, don't be angry," he said, coming down the stairs until he was on the same landing as Kurt. "Did I offend you? You seem so...ah...what is the word... 'ostile? Is it because of Sebastien?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. If the guy didn't even know what he was doing wrong, how was he going to explain it to him? "Forget it, Marc," he said dismissively. "I know you two are old friends and if this is your idea of having fun, go ahead. I just wish you'd leave me and Rachel out of it."

"Are you and the girl, ah-- you know?" Marc made an obscene gesture with his fingers. Kurt wrinkled his nose.

"No! I'm gay and I'm with Sebastian," Kurt protested. "Something you'd do well to remember..."

" _Oh, I see_ ," Marc mumbled in French. " _You are jealous...you think Sebastien and I are-_ " he made the gesture again.

"I do not," Kurt bit back, not bothering to speak French with him. "Sebastian wouldn't do that."

" _Oh. Oh, I see. You have tamed him, yes?_ "

Kurt blinked, unsure he had understood Marc properly. His French vocabulary wasn't that limited but wasn't that verb reserved for animals? "He's not the same guy now as he was in Paris with you," Kurt explained, just to make that quite clear.

"Isn't he? Such a pity..." Marc replied, smiling at Kurt in a way that made him very uncomfortable. "We could have had so much fun together..."

He  pressed on, taking a step closer to Kurt. Kurt instinctively took a step back and felt his elbows hit the wall behind him. Marc was the same height as he was, but about twice his shoulder span. He was close now- too close, and Kurt could feel old fear take hold of him like a old wound reopening. He felt trapped against the lockers again, or pinned in the backseat.   


Sebastian's friend leaned in close to whisper in Kurt's ear. " _Back in Paris, we used to share pretty boys like you. Did he tell you that? Ah, you would have liked it, maybe. I could see it now, your beautiful lips wrapped around Sebastien's cock while I fuck into you.._ ." 

Kurt felt memories mingle with new terror and a familiar sensation shot down his spine, laming his legs.  _He's going to beat me up now_ , he thought, his breathing becoming shallow.  _Or worse_ . 

But as he braced himself for the punch, he realized something was different.  _He_ was different. He was no longer sixteen years old, and he didn't need to take this crap from anyone. He was an adult now; he no longer needed to rely on teachers for help- Vogue dot com had offered him a job, NYADA had offered him a place in their school, and he was worth more than this. He would not allow this jerk to treat him like this, and more over, he would not allow him to take Sebastian and turn him back into the guy he was before they met. He raised his eyes and looked at Marc.

"Get the fuck away from me," he said, glaring at him. "And stay away from Sebastian too."

"Or what?" Marc asked, but the look in Kurt's eyes made him take a step back anyway.

"Or you'll find out what happens when you mess with a Hummel," Kurt said, raising his chin. He stepped away from the wall and turned his back on Marc, closing his eyes briefly before starting back up the stairs. If he showed any fear now, his threat would be void, so he made himself take the next step, and the next, until he was back at the bar. Marc didn't come after him.

"We're leaving," Kurt announced as he came back to their table. He grabbed his jacket from the chair back.

"What? Why?" Sebastian asked, frowning. He looked into the direction of the stairs.

"Without Marc," Kurt added. "Come on, Rachel."

Rachel looked just as confused as Kurt but got up anyway. "Are you okay?" she whispered, her eyes flying over him to check for injuries.

"I'm fine," he said, and inside he knew that he was. He had finally done what he hadn't been able to do all those years, and it felt good. "Bas, let's go."

Sebastian frowned. "We haven't finished our wine," he protested. "And what about Marc? I thought we were having fun here..."

Kurt looked at him. "Maybe you two were. But I will not sit here and watch you drown yourself in nostalgia, listening to your stories about all the guys you had. If that's the life you long back for, go ahead. But do it without me."

"Kurt, what...where is this coming from? I thought we were doing okay." Confusion was clear on Sebastian's face.

"We were. And then Marc shows up and suddenly you're  _that_ guy again, Bastian. You're loud and rude and you are completely oblivious to how uncomfortable you're making me and Rachel. And the worst part is, I don't know if it's really  _you_ , or if you're just playing a part for Marc." He paused to breathe and gathered himself, subconsciously reaching to his hair to correct the bangs he no longer wore combed over his forehead.

"What do you want from me, Kurt?" Sebastian asked, feeling like Kurt had slapped him in the face. Kurt was right; he was oblivious. He hadn't noticed anything like this coming.

"I want you to tell Marc to pack his things and take a hike. I don't want him around you. Or around  _me_ ." Finally, Kurt's voice, that had been controlled until now, was beginning to break.

"Kurt, what happened?" Sebastian asked, realizing something was really wrong and it wasn't just their jokes. Kurt was trembling.

"Your friend propositioned me in the bathroom," he said, trying to keep his voice level. "He pushed me against the wall and suggested you two could  _share_ me the way you used to in Paris. Though I'm not sure he wasn't planning to just start without you."

"What?!" Sebastian said, and his eyes went to the stairs again, where Marc was coming up. "What the hell were you thinking?" he yelled at his friend, getting up so quickly his chair fell backward. People were starting to look over at them. Marc looked at the three of them and quickly seemed to gather what was going on. He walked over with his hands up, offering Sebastian his palms in a sign of surrender.

"Nothing, it was just a joke. Kurt and I were having a little fun."

"It doesn't look like Kurt found it very funny," Sebastian countered. Marc shrugged.

"International misunderstanding. I made him a compliment. Perhaps my French confused him..."

"There was nothing confusing about your offer to sandwich me between you two like old times," Kurt cut in. Rachel gasped and took hold of his arm, preparing to pull him away from the two boys.

Sebastian stared at Marc. "That's my boyfriend you were talking to," he said angrily. "I told you how I feel about him. I don't do that stuff anymore."

Marc shook his head. "Come on, Sebastien. He's flavor of the month, we both know that. Sure, he's sweet, but what do they say? Ah...  _variety of spice_ ?" He shrugged again. "Sebastien, you and I, we go way back. I know you. I know you will get bored soon and you'll come back to France, yes? Don't be angry now. Let's drink and be happy." He reached out to pat Sebastian on the shoulder. The other boy shrugged him off angrily.

"Fuck you. This is where I draw the line." Sebastian's voice was dangerously level. "You can come and pick your stuff up tomorrow. After that, I never want to see you again."

" _Sebastien, be reasonable_ ," Marc pleaded, switching to his native language, " _It's the middle of the night, I have nowhere to go..._ "

" _This is me being reasonable_ ," Sebastian replied icily. " _Because my instinct is telling me to castrate you._ "

" _Ha! Pitiful. Fine. Throw our friendship away for a boy then. Go have your bourgeois American dream. But don't bother coming back when you need a break from playing house._ "

"What are they saying?" Rachel whispered, having trouble with the French. Kurt just shook his head. He couldn't be distracted with translating now, not when they might start a fight. But his fears were unfounded. Marc was already grabbing his coat, and downed his glass of wine in one go before heading to the door. As he passed Kurt and Rachel, he looked Kurt in the eyes and for a moment Kurt braced himself for another insult, but Marc simply shook his head in disbelief and left. It seemed like everyone in the bar breathed out with relief. Kurt swallowed and looked at Sebastian, who was standing by himself in the middle of the room.

Sebastian looked back at him. He was still reeling with adrenaline. He wanted to  _do_ something to make all of it right again, but what? Now that Marc had left, there was no object for his anger anymore except himself. How could he have been so stupid? Of course Kurt wasn't amused by all of those stories! If he had any brain at all, he would have tried to pretend that time never existed rather than brag about it... 

Sebastian was so busy scolding himself that he didn't notice Kurt had walked up to him until he was right in front of him.

"Kurt, I'm sorry," he blurted out. "I'm an idiot." He looked his boyfriend up and down as if to make sure he was still in one piece. "Are you okay?"

Kurt nodded. "I told him to get away from me and he did." He smiled shyly. "That felt kind of good, actually."

Sebastian smiled back. "You have no idea how intimidating you can be, babe."

Kurt grinned. "Well, good." He kissed Sebastian's cheek. "I'm sorry you had to send him away. I guess that wasn't easy."

Sebastian shrugged. "He made it  _very_ easy the moment he tried to mess with you."

Kurt took a deep breath and let it out, allowing Sebastian's words to sink into his soul like a balm over the many scratches he had gathered there over the years.

"You guys, I hate to spoil the moment, but we need to get to Times' Square before they drop the ball," Rachel said from behind them, pushing herself between them and looping her arms into theirs. "Brody is meeting us there. Come on." She dragged the two of them out of the bar. Sebastian gave Kurt an amused look over her head. Kurt grinned back. Clearly Rachel was now firmly on Team Sebastian.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter.

"Oh god, yes..."

Someone was knocking on the door.

"Don't stop... ah... Bastian...please..."

The knocking became insistent. Sebastian groaned in frustration and pulled away from his boyfriend. "Don't go anywhere. Whoever it is, I'll get rid of them," he promised, and pressed a hard kiss on Kurt's stomach. Grabbing a shirt from the floor, he quickly wiped down his face and his chest before going to the door.

"Go away, I'm busy," he said as he pulled open the door, and froze as he saw who was standing in front of him.

"Sebastian. We need to talk."

Sebastian looked over his shoulder at Kurt and then back at the doorway. "Now is not a good time."  
  
"I wasn't asking for your permission."

Kurt listened closely. He didn't recognize the man's voice, but he already disliked him. He could tell by Sebastian's posture and the tension in his back that something was wrong.

"I was talking to my old acquaintance Dr Fernhouse the other day. You may remember him from your...unfortunate liaison with his son? Imagine my surprise when he told me he would soon be teaching a Smythe at NYU. 'Surely not _my_ son,' I told him, but he seemed rather sure of the fact."

Sebastian shifted from one foot to the other and said nothing. Kurt saw the knuckles on his hand that held the door turn white, and the muscles in his shoulders bunched up.

"Well?" his father demanded. "Is it true?"

"Yes," Sebastian finally said. Kurt had never heard him sound so cowed, and he started feeling angry. This was his dad? And this was how he reacted to his son starting university? He ought to be proud!

"And pray tell how you intend to pay for tuition? Judging by this place, in this neighborhood, you can't have an actual job." His father's tone was cold and patronizing.

Sebastian straightened his shoulders. "I do. I have _two_ jobs. I can pay for it myself. I don't need you or your money."

"Sebastian, please. Don't fool yourself. What self-respecting company would hire you? Look at you. I shudder to think about what you do for money."

Kurt had heard enough. He pulled up his jeans and quickly grabbed a jacket, shrugging it on over his naked chest. He didn't know if anything he could say would make this better, but in his opinion, it couldn't get much worse. He walked to the door to look at the man Sebastian was related to. He was wearing a well-cut suit and the facial similarities were striking. Yet where Sebastian's eyes were a soft green, his were a cold steel blue, and his mouth was twisted into a sneer.

"Ah, I see," Mr Smythe said, smiling humorlessly as he looked Kurt up and down. "Customer or employee?" He reached for his pocket and pulled out a checkbook. Scribbling something down, he mumbled: "Either way, I'm offering you two hundred dollars to pack your things and get out of here. I'm sure that more than compensates whatever your usual fees are." He held out a check.

Kurt scoffed. "I can't believe such as asshole as you ever fathered such a wonderful son. Sebastian is my boyfriend, not my pimp. And he will be attending NYU whether you like it or not."

Sebastian's father raised his eyebrows. Kurt hated how it made him look like a twisted version of his son when he did that. He wished Mr Smythe and Sebastian had nothing in common. The man pocketed his checkbook and the check.

"Boyfriend? Really? Well, in that case, let me introduce myself properly. My name is Edward Smythe, and as you may have gathered, I am Sebastian's father. Are you are?" He stuck out his hand.

"You don't have to-" Sebastian started, but Kurt shook his head. He took the offered hand.

"Kurt Hummel. I'd say it's a pleasure but it isn't."

"Hummel? Huh. Congressman Hummel's gay son he keeps preaching on about?"

Kurt raised his chin. Mr Smythe made a face of reluctant approval.

"Well, at least my son has learned to sleep up. I can't say we share the same political agenda."

"I daresay you don't," Kurt replied. "Which will eventually put you on the losing team. Now, seeing as you came here without an invitation and are clearly not wanted, I kindly ask you to leave before we call the police."

Sebastian's father shook his head. "I am allowed to speak to my own son," he protested.

"And we've heard what you had to say. Goodbye Mr Smythe," Kurt said, taking Sebastian's hand and squeezing it comfortingly. Sebastian squeezed back.

"Bye father. Give mother my regards," Sebastian added, and started to close the door.

"Sebastian, if you close this door, I swear to you-"

Sebastian slammed it shut and the sound of his father's voice was cut off. He looked at Kurt. "I had hoped you'd never have to see that," he said quietly, as his father pounded on the door. Kurt shook his head.

"It's okay. It explains a lot." He pulled Sebastian closer and kissed his lips. Sebastian sighed.

"I wish I could close the door on him forever," he said. "But he'll always be there, reminding me of everything, telling me I put shame to the Smythe family... I wish I could just...change my name and move away from here so he could never find me again."

Kurt looked at him and smiled softly. "Ask me again after NYADA."

Sebastian looked at him for a moment before he realized what his boyfriend meant. He smiled hesitantly. "I'll... keep that option in mind," he said.

Kurt nodded. Then he looked down Sebastian's chest. "We have unfinished business," he stated. Sebastian swallowed. The conversation with his dad had completely ruined his mood, but the look Kurt was giving him was reminding him of what they had been doing before they were interrupted.

"Yes. Let's do something about that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end :) If you liked this, please let me know. I need applause to live ;)


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